I walked across a lake once. Someone said "JESUS CHRIST!" to which I replied with "YES?"

Why did the cow cross the road? It was escorted by its owner to get to the slaughter-house.

A bear and a rabbit are walking i n the woods until they spot a magic genie. The bear mauls the rabbit because it is the rabbit's natural predator and is indifferent to the genie because it has no prior education on persian mythology.

what do you have to do to confuse a blond? Nothing

Q: What do you call a dog with metal balls and two-inch legs? A: Animatronic

What's wrong with the axe murderer that lives down the street?? Nothing.

whats thin, long and hard? A: a pen is

How do you stop your child from picking his nose? Cut his hands off

Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she is legally blind

What did the man say to the woman with two black eyes? "Oh my goodness! Are you alright?!"

A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says: both your legs are broken in 10 places, you will never walk again.

How do Helen keller's parents punish her? They sternly reprimand her for her misdeeds.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he can make before the car hits him.

Why did the girl scream for help? She was being raped.

Why did the Mexican jump the fence? Because he didn't feel like walking around the house to the side where the gate was to get out of the backyard

What's worse than stubbing your toe? Slavery.

What hurts more than a papercut? A chainsaw between your legs.

why did the chicken cross the road? to form the basis of an extremly popular jokewhich would grace the schoolyards around the world for centurys to come!

What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

A jew walk's into a bar. But actually it was a Gas chamber.

A man in a wheelchair walked into a bar. No he didn't.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

'l give you a nickle to tickle my pickle i'l give you a dime to take you time

What's better than having sex ? Having sex and being rich.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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