How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 27

An Irishman walks out of a bar.

5 Christians, 4 Arabs, 3 Jews, and a Monkey are locked in a room with sticky bombs, hand grenades, a bible, and some bananas. What do they do? play scrabble

Why can't Jeff drive a car? because he is a rock.

Theres this black guy who goes to a gun shop and buys a .45 and then goes to get a permit and uses it responsibly....

There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

Ill never forget the last phone conversation i had with my Jewish friend before he died due to the 9/11 incident. Friend:owejpq3jhp3qjopiqwejhriopjhaiophfioashiohwih13ioh3f2893hoiqehefioahfioahisdpahdfajdfopasjiopdfajdfopsajradalkdjakldja;hdfkl;adhlpa;dhfakl;dhkladhkadhlkhdjklahdjkgsdjkgbdqwgy3bi3grqbhgjkasjkdkasjdgjkadgskajgdkajdsgjkasgdad

Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet eating her curds and way, along came a spider who sat there beside her and asked, "Hey bitch what's in the bowl?"

What did the viking say to the alien? "Vad i namn av valhalla är en utlänning gör här?"

what do you call a cat that looks like a lion 7

TOP COMMENT IS MINE!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens can't fly, what choice did it have? All it wanted to do was to get to the other side. That chicken knew what it wanted to do in life. What do you want to do with your life? Be chicken smart. Cross the road.

Yo momma's so ugly that she could not find another partner after the tragic death of your father

why didn't Marlin monroe ( http://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marilyn_Monroe ) use the iphone app guitar hero because she died before the iphone was invented !

Asians.

What did the clown say when he was denied health insurance? Nothing, he died of his pre-existing heart condition.

so a salesman knocks on a mans' door and asks if he would like to hear a salespitch but the man didn't answer he came back two minutes later and knocked and asked if the man would be intrested in some girl scout cookies and the man tore the door off the hinges.

How do you make an emo kid cry? He already is.

Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

roses are red violets are blue if u wanna fight call 111 ( we r in new zealand)

Mr. Krabs lives in bikini bottom (pinch pinch)

Why did the cow fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second cow fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first cow.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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