An Irishman, an Englishman, and a Scottishman walks into a bar. They had a good time.

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Why did the penguin die? It got eaten.

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A Native American walks into a casino. He wants to invest a protion of his earnings from his fortune 500 company into it because he believes it to be a profitable venture.

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sometimes i put my hands on the floor tuck my head into my cheat and lean forward... because thats how i roll

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How do you rescue a fat girl that's stuck under a car? With a pickaxe and a donkey.

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Did you hear about the dyslexic that choked on his own vimto?

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What hurts more than a bee sting? Child birth.

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Why did Paul let Johnny choke to death? Because Paul had no arms.

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whats yellow and very big? I dont know. no one will tell me

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Knock Knock Who's there A girl scout want to buy some cookies to raise money for my cardiac surgery?

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If you are American when you walk into a bathroom and American when you walk back out, what are you when you are inside the bathroom? You're probably dispelling waste products from your body.

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Gorillas are black, Roses are red, Were out of milk, GET THE F**K OUT!

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a well respected member of the community.

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There was once a man named Larry. Larry was an office worker for a paper company. One day when Larry was counting papers he got a papercut on his left hand. Therefore his finger began to bleed as he sat in agony. What did Larry do next? He got up and got a band-aid. Larry continued his paper work at his desk.

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A duck flies into a bar. The bartender allows it to stay because it turns into a beautiful swan. The goose then lays a golden egg and the bartender stares in awe as a giant bean stalk grows out of the egg. He's ecstatic and really glad he let the flamingo stay with all the wonderful colors and magic going on.

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There is a blonde, a redhead, and a brunnette stuck on a deserted island. the redhead gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk the 100 miles back to shore. she begins swimming, gets 10 miles out, gets tired, and drowns. the brunnette gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk it too. she gets 50 miles, gets tired, and drowns. The blonde decides to escape as well. she is able to swim 98 miles, gets tired, and swims back.

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Yo mama so fat - - That your dad left her, and it's tearing your family apart

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So there is a blind man... and he walks past a fish market and takes a deep breath and says"Oh boy it sure does smell like fish out here".

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Why did the muslim cross the road? To blow up a train

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A woman walks into a bar She is raped.

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It was at the war and there was a camp site where a doctors helped injured soldiers. One soldier comes in the door and holds his arm. The doctor says "You got shot in the arm?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and holding his shoulder. The doctor says "You got shot in the shoulder?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and was dragging his left leg across the floor. The doctor says "You got shot in your leg?" The soldier says "No, I stepped on dog shhhttt."

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I saw a stray dog the other day So I petted it and got on my way.

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Why did the racecar driver lose his driver's license? He crashed into an orphanage.

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How did the rabbi die? It didnt it lived through the shooting

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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