Q: Why was the black guy afraid of the chainsaw A: It was cutting his arm off

Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Sara

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, chickens aren't capable of crossing roads without being involved in a car accident.

Why did the woman cross the road? Trick question, she didn't because she was in the kitchen.

Q. What does the pencil and the basketball have in common? A. They both are made from wood, except for the basketball.

Two elephants were in a bathtub. One elephant asks the other "pass the soap?" The other elephant passes him the soap and they continue with their bath.

Your mom is so fat that she turns "One Size Fits All" to "One Size Fits Most"

What is the difference between a pig and a crow? One is a animal that Is butchered to be eaten as a wonderful meat product. And the other is a pretentious asshole bird that no one likes.

guy walks into a bar. other guy says to him, "are you blind"? "yes", he answered.

hashtags suck balls

What happens if a black person meets a white person? They shake hands

What do you do when the Cubs win the world series? Turn the xbox off and go to bed.

What is the difference between a calendar and you? A calendar has dates!!

Did you hear about the man who went up into space without a space suit? He died.

What does a witch put food in? A lunchbox

What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper... used to clean up a crime scene.

Hello, can I order a cheeseburger?

I like Pi. It can make circles.

What did the father say to his child Christmas morning? you're adopted

why did the asian wearing a sombrero buy orange juice at 2am? because hes trying to stay sober and do away with alcohol for good because its ruining his family and he wants to be a good father and husband.

Yo mama so fat, she should see a doctor to discuss healthier lifestyles.

"Wow, that was so funny i fell off my dinosaur!" Dinosaurs went extinct in the late Cretaceous period, about 65 million years ago. Commonly believed by scientists across the world to have been caused by an ancient meteor that crashed in the current day Yucatán peninsula in Mexico. Also, even if you were around during the Cretaceous period, i assure you that no dinosaur would let you climb on top of it, let alone ride it while you're not highly terrified because of the sheer danger of the experience. Now unless you are 65 million years old, I highly doubt you laughed so hard that you fell off the dinosaur that you supposedly own.

A patient goes to the doctor. The doctor says I have bad news and even worse news. The patient says "What's the bad news?" The doctor says "You only have 24 hours to live." The patient says "Oh my gosh what could possibly be worse than that?!" The doctor says "Well...we've been trying to contact you since yesterday..."

Q: Why couldn't the skeleton go to the party A: He had a boner

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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