A murder, a cheater, and a liar walk into a bar..... Woah the aptriots must be in town -Rocco Tufano

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A: Do you want to hear a joke? B: Yes. A: Thanks.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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Why did the man push open the door? The sign said PUSH.

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Knock knock whos there? me oh, cool... well come in.

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A traveling salesman came into town and needed a place to stay for the night. A farmer told him that he could sleep at his house, where he introduced the salesman to his young, sexy daughter. "Why hello," said the salesman. It's very nice to meet you." And then he went to sleep in the bedroom that the farmer had prepared for him.

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Why do we have a black president? Because the populace voted and thought him to be an overall better candidate than John McCain.

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Your mother is so stupid that it would be politically incorrect and socially unacceptable to make asinine, derogatory comments about her challenges.

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how do you make a janeter cry, you shit on the floor

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What's big, white and will killl you if it falls out of a tree? A polar bear.

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why doesnt cornelia say anything? she didnt answer

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident, your entire family is dead.

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's the postman, I have a package you need to sign for.

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What do you give an obese person with diabetes? Insulin.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nobody. You'reschizophrenic and are hearing things. Go see a doctor. Now.

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What do you call a grizzly bear without teeth? A gummy bear

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You're mama's so fat: she has to wear plus size clothing

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How did the leukemia patient die? He was shot in the leg repeatedly until he died of blood loss.

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Why was the mexican dead? Because he overdosed on Methamphetamine.

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Why was the man squinting his face for so long? He was constipated and couldn't give a shit.

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Steve, what do I write on a 3946 if more than two vehicles were involved?

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What do you call a giraffe driving a car?.. Your Imagination

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A wood chuck CAN chuck wood, that's why his a wood chuck.

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What is E.T. short for? He has small legs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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