Which is better; having a billion dollars or a trillion dollars? Trick Question, you aren't that rich.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What is the difference between a baby and a tree? Its not illegal to hit one with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down -16

kk

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why was the man choking? He was eating to fast.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Question: So, what do you get if you put a live dog, a dead cat, some sugarcubes, and your sisters panties (HORMONES OKAY? EVERYBODY KNOWS HORMONES EQUALS SPICE! Or something anyways...) In a blender until its all red and squishy? The hell I know, but put some Redbull in it, and its fucking delicious!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

whats the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari. I don't have a ferrari in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what is red, yellow, green, blue, purple, and violet? Blood i lied about the other colors...

thumb_up thumb_down -16

An Octopus walked into a bar. He then died as he had been out of his natural habitat for an exceedingly long period of time. An octopus can only survive on land for 30 minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you do if you see a black man in your backyard with a bullet wound in his head? Take him to the hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Penis

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the girl cry? She got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I am a mime

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Nero? You are alive? Holy shit! You are like so my hero! I love you man! I was so saddened to hear you where tortured and killed, but then I read about this "Axel Knight" and hoped it was you, it sure sounded like you! Please tell me its no joke, you are a hero around these parts, and we really miss you, honestly sir, is it true point zero has become some sort of utopia or are the painkillers making you a bit Hazy? I am Erica by the way, still with the order, but what is this about your empire?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Knock knock. I have a doorbell...

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the driver have when he got hit by another car? An accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's worse than the holocaust? Jewish people!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She didn't have a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why was the man afraid of the tree? Because it ate his mother!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q: why are black people good at basketball A: god you racist bastard

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call a 9 year old with no friends? A Sandyhook survivor.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you make a sausage roll? Wrap some sausage meat in a pastry dough made of plain flour, water, salt and fat, and bake it in an oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why did you poop because you are a poop

thumb_up thumb_down -18

An old man walks across the street. Several cars start to honk in irritation, for they are in a hurry and the man is walking quite sluggishly.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops