A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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Q:Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A:Sea creatures seeking shelter and food

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? I shot him in the face.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Yo mama is so ugly, she entered an ugly contest and placed well in her division.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the food supply was scarce

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An old man walks into a grocery store, but doesn't come out. What happened? A plane crashed into the grocery store, killing everyone inside.

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man: hey whats that in the corner? Bartender: thatssteve his wife left him and he is trying to drown his saddness is addiction.

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What do you get when you put two landsharks together? Three landsharks.

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Why does Gandalf have special powers? Because Dumbledore died.

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What is is one good thing about global Waming? Nothing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't so much cross the road as he did go down the road, to the supermarket, where he was sold to a family of 5, and taken down yet another road to the family's house, where they enjoyed a nice family dinner.

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Why did the Nazi doctor drown a Jew in the lake? Because he felt like it.

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Q. why did the girl fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms.

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Why did the boy cry after baseball practice? He was molested by his coach.

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What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

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Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? Because sloths often confuse their arm with a branch, grab on and fall to their deaths.

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Caolan and Eamon

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What do u call a matthew vasquez with a guitar, a one man mariachi band... cuz he is mexican

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Knock Knock Who is there? The IRS coming to take your house

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whats green and slimy? green slim

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Why was Mary's phone call suddenly disconnected? She was raped.

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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