Honey, it really is such a tragedy that my sense of sight doesn't function properly. I've missed out on many beautiful things in my lifetime.

What's black and white and red all over? A penguin inside a blender.

What's the difference between 10 dead baby's and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

You know why Michael J. Fox makes really good milkshakes? ... because he uses the best ingredients

everyone dislike this

What state is round on both ends and high in the middle? Ocoloradoo.

Mr. Wonder, optimism is seeing the glass as half full, pessimism as seeing the glass half empty, and realism as not seeing the glass at all.

How do unwed mothers celebrate Mother's Day? The same way all mothers do.

Your mothers so ugly that when memory sees her it says " Damn-it I hate my job!

How do you make an idiot in suspense?

Why couldnt the boy lick his elbows? Because he lost his arms after he was violently beaten by his drunk father with a bat.

How many chinese women can you fit in a car? About the same amount as men.

What's small, pale blue and sits at the bottom of the pool? "An over ripe blueberry."

They say time heals all wounds, yet my leg still had to be amputated.

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

Why wasn't the drunk driver arrested when he killed a man? Because he died as well.

What do you call a a chinese abortion? My dinner

Sam Hengal.

Why was the dog crying? Do dogs even cry?

Throw your crépe right into an ocean Where an octopus can get it in all the commotion With the crépe and the ocean and the oc-to-pus

how did the ant die? i stepped on it

What is big, white, and heavy ? A fridge

Whats red and tastes like parsley? Not Red Parsley

what is very tall and red a very tall red building

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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