If you have read this its to late. You have already read this. Im am very sorry.

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You know what's wrong with Oprah? Generally nothing. She's a well-respected African American woman who happens to be quite wealthy and likes to share her wealth with other people.

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What is the difference between you and a brick? A brick gets laid.

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how do you break up with someone lightly and not hurt their feeling I dont want to hurt your feeling but i hate you

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person 1: wanna hear a knock knock joke? Person 2: sure! Person 1: okay you start person 2: knock knock Person 1: who's there?

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Uh no, yogurt as in the bacteria that they add to milk in order to make the finished product yogurt. You see, while the effect is seen in twins (for example if one twin gets raped, the other gets a fucking sore ass) Sorry, I am still under trance here myself, you get out of it, I am gonna have some fun, go splash some water on your face. I mean people go like "woah that is impossible it only happens in rare cases and so on right?" Fun stuff: Yogurt, you can seal yogurt in a steel container miles away after separating its culture (basically having a colony living together and then moving them away from each other as in 30000 kilometers and sealing them in soundproof safe`s and whatnot. Feed one half of the yogurt, and the other one far far away begins munching into thin air, now keep the food close to the yogurt, and the bacteria will begin "begging for it" (as in when baby chicks notice the parent has arrived with food), and so will the culture of yogurt sealed in a safe 30000 miles away. Why? Living in similar states, brings a natural connection, we are attracted to similarities, and as far as the human knowledge of the LAW of attraction goes, distance is not a factor, look it up, or just believe me.

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Why does history repeat itself? Because no one listened to it the first time.

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What did one pile of dirt say to the other pile of dirt?? You're dirty

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Why did the gay guy come out of the closet? He finally found the shirt he was looking for

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Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M Factory Because she repeatedly wrote Ws

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house? A: That depends how hard you throw them... Q: Whats worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees...

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What's the difference between a Toyota Camry and 20 dead babies? I don't have 20 dead babies in my garage.

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THUMBS THIS DOWN AND I WILL KILL YOU! TOTAL PEOPLE DIED FROM THUMBING THIS DOWN: 147289347809237489

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knock knock? Whos there? a questionable person. What? exactly.

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What do you call a guy with an axe in his head? Chuck

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Did you hear about the black man who went to college? He made a very successful living for himself despite this rough economy.

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How do you tick off a Doctor? You cut off his right thumb.

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Your mothers so dumb that when she had to take a math test, she received a significantly lower grade than the rest of her classmates.

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What do you say to a corpse? How's life?

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hey its jerry hey its dj want to see my goat noooo

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Why was Mary's phone call suddenly disconnected? She was raped.

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Why was the blonde confused? Because someone was dressed in a chicken costume throwing pinecones at her.

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Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

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What's the mosy hardest game in the world? The Impossible Game.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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