How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

A couple is playing chess. The man then chokes his wife to death, throws her body in a woodchopper, and eats her like cereal- Frost

wat is the name of a girl u can play connect the dots on her face laurie pisciotta

Doctor, doctor, I have a cavity! Go to the dentist.

ANTONI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why did the husband and wifes marriage fail? The husband slept with many other women and is putting his family through a hellacious situation.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a pedophile.

An under aged girl walks into a bar. She couldn't have done so without a fake ID and early development.

why did the skeleton cross the road ? because it wanted too. lolz

Q: What do you call a Polish astronomer? A: Copernicus.

Why did the fireman die? For various reasons,one was because he was burnt alive.

How many pastry chefs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. It's a fairly simple job.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken saw some potential food across the street.

A chicken decides to cross a road. Unfortunately it gets ran over and does. The end.

How did the Black man die at the KFC? Someone killed him.

What's big and looks like a mushroom? A Mushroom.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your car repossessed.

A: u wanna die? B: does anyone really wanna die, i mean logistically, un-less u are suicidal, why would you wanna die? A: I do wanna die. B: ur a freak and you should consider getting help person A never got help, on his way to getting help at a certified physician he got hit by a bus, his body can be found at the intersection of church ave. and flatbush. And i would say rest in piece but cars drive over him daily, and thats not to peaceful

Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

What day is it? Asked the man with a gun who dislikes music. Friday. Mostly because yesterday was thursday and tomorrow is Saturday. Sunday comes afterwards also. The man says "oh. I thought it was Tuesday."

Where do you find a dog with no legs ? Same place you left it ...

What did the Doctor say to the patient. You have AIDS The patient took out a machete and stabbed the Doctor. The Doctor died. Two weeks later, the patient died of AIDS.

Feminism.

A terminte walks into a pub and ask is the bar tender here?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...