Why not zoidburg? Because Zoidburg is a alien from another planet and the human population is probally afraid to talk to him do to the potential danger of alien contact.

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What's the worst thing about that Black Jew at the Bus Stop? He's taking a bus to go to his mother's funeral.

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Why did the Muslim boy crash a plane into a building? Because the remote-controlled plane suddenly malfuctioned and crashed into a nearby apartment complex.

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What goes up and down but never physically moves? My grade.

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How did Hitler fit 100 Jews in his car? Ashes don't take up much space.

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What do you tell your dad if he constantly gripes about his balls? He's got testicular cancer and he's going to die a horrible painful death.

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what do you call people who keep reffering to the holocost , and cancer sufferers on this site? sad and sick individuals

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What did Hellen Keller say when she drove up to the stop sign? Nothing, she doesn't drive.

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when i yell your name i probably want your attention :) S.H.

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An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

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A hispanic priest with a huge boner walks into a bar.

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if any1 wants contact with me, nina, call me on my cell at 879-555-0934 im looking for a short, chubby man with a hungering taste of mexican taste

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A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

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How can you tell your not italian? You aint no Guito!

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Why did Hitler try to take over the world? Hitler wanted to spread the Nazi (National Socialism) idea, He also wanted to destroy the Jews(Christian and non-Christian) and many other groups of people using the prevailing scientific idea of the day eugenics and survival of the fittest

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Women. One of the genders a human can be.

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Why was Michael Jackson so bad at dancing? Because he had a broken leg.

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So a black man steals a bike Because it was unlocked, and that was just poor planning.

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Why do ducks have flat feet? To stomp out forest fires Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out flaming ducks

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Boy: Excuse me, do you have a cigarette? Man: First let me see your ID. Boy: I don't have an ID Man: Well, how much money do you have? Boy: 50 cents Man: Sorry, I don't have any cigarettes. Boy: Good job, I'm actually undercover cop and you sir are a good citizen for not giving a minor cigarettes. Man: Cool, do I get a reward? Boy: Yes, you will receive a good citizen award and free $50 coupon. Man: Thank you! Boy: Can I have a cigarette now? Man: I wasn't lying when I said I didn't have any cigarettes. Boy: Okay, have a nice day.

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Why did Kim Kardashian's and Kris Humphries marriage last so long? It didn't

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Amazing

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Want to hear a joke You're Adopted

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A woman says Renae has a butt... Two men say we don't care we have her hammer. True story.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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