Me: did u here the one about the girl got hit by a car? Man: no what happened? Me: She is in the hosspital with slight fractures and a broken wrist, but she will live

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why couldnt the polish people live in the outhouse? because the mexicans in the basement were too noisy

thumb_up thumb_down -12

One afternoon, a man walks into a bar, looking sad and purchases a large drink. "Bad day?" the bartender asks, "I just found out my youngest son is gay." the man replies. "Wow that's bad buddy, I'll buy you the drink, on the house." Two weeks later, the same man walks into a bar, looking sad and purchases a large drink. "Bad day?" the bartender asks, "I just found out my second son is gay." the man replies. "Wow that's bad buddy, I'll buy you the drink, on the house." Two weeks later, the same man walks into a bar, looking sad and purchases a large drink. "Bad day?" the bartender asks, "I just found out my oldest son is gay." the man replies. "Doesn't anyone in your family like women?." the bartender asks. The man thinks about it. "Yeah, my wife."

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Brother : you see this hand Sister : yes Brother : if you dont leave ill slap you with it Sister : no you wont !SLAP!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: What is scarier than the boogie man? A: Herpes

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A blind man walks past a fish market then says "why hello lady's" ????

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Doctor: I'm sorry about your disease, young man. It looks like your time is up. Man: NO! How much time to I have? Doctor: Five. Man: Five years? Five months? Five weeks? Doctor: Four... Three...

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q. If you're paddling up river and you lose three tires, how many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? A. Purple because ice cream has no bones.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You pour cold water on her head or make a loud noise nearby.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's a bench painted red white and blue all over? An American BENCH.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Two blondes walks into a tavern, which is kind of funny, since the second one should have seen it.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the Jew say when he walked into a bar? Ouch!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are red Grass is greener I think of you when I play with my weiner

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you get when you put Star Wars and Disney together? A Bad Sequel

thumb_up thumb_down -14

roses are red so is ur face dont look at me like im a crazy bitch

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza is an Italian food and a jew is a human that practices the Jewish faith

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the penguin say to the fisherman? Nothing, they are different animals, and thus, unable to communicate.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A storm be brewin!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I'm on the seafood diet. A large proportion of my daily food intake is fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the comedian say when he fell off the cliff? Nothing; dead beings are incapable of performing actions.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Suck pussy

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the Woman say to the man after he walked into the pole? That was a pole you idiot

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: Hey, ask me if I'm a tree. ".. Are you a tree?" A: No.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops