A man walks into a bar, sits down and talks to the woman sitting next to him. The woman took out a cigarette, and offered one to the man. The man said yes, even though he never smoked before, because he was trying to get with the woman. They smoked a few more before the woman left, and the man left shortly after. The man became a chain smoker and died 1 year later from lung cancer caused by smoking multiple packs a day.

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How many licks does it take to get to center of a tootsie pop? pickles, 7:00 pm, wood, shoulder pain

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Q: Why do Asian children tend to be smarter than other children A: They have longer school years

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Whats worst than getting raped by an old man? -Nothing, getting raped is probably the worst thing to happen to you.

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A: When was rhe last time you touched yourself? B: A few seconds ago when I had an itch on my arm

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Why did the sailor fall off the boat? Because vampires arent real.

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Your momma's so stupid that she was declared mentally retarded by her doctors.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme But this one doesnt

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck.

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what do you call a blonde who can't drive? a poor driver

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Whats green and has wings? grass, I lied about the wings.

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How old is your mom Dead

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill your neighbor. Can I have some flour?

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What is the difference between a fridge and a tree ? The fridge can't sing

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Why did the black guy smell fried chicken? He had a brain tumour

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Why did the old man die? He died because he saw the light wich happened to be a street light in the distance.

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"Would you like to see our stool samples?" asked the salesman. 10 minutes later, I left with 3 new bar stools.

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what's worse than me fucking your mom she enjoyed it

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What do you call a college student who never studies? An irresponsible person

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A person who doesn't know hungarian is trying to read the next sentence. Sajnos nem érti, mivel nem tud magyarul.

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What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide.

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what happened when the shoe turned into a shoe.......... nothing, it was a raisin

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit it with an axe

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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