why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by the ice cream van

four score and seven years ago. . sharks with frickn laser beams attached to their FRICKeN HEADs.

Why does Hilter hate Jews? He's incapable of hating because he's dead.

Q:What's brown and tastes like shit? A:Shit

Roes are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesn't rhyme, You're entire family has died. The plane that they were on went down due to a flock of geese getting sucked into the engine. They were visiting you for your twenty fifth birthday and wanted to surprise you. there were no survivors.

How did the seal die? It went clubbing ... Then overdosed on ecstasy, it was very sad.

My name is Jeff

A man and a women are having sex. He farted so she left before he came.

what is the difference between a car salesman and a lawyer? a car salesman sells cars to people while a lawyer is an expert in law.

Why was the pedophile in jail? For indecent exposure to a child.

I dunno, I dont grade love, I want to see you, touch you, bang you (sorry for not having the guts to use a nicer word, but I am tired and that is what I have in me now) And while that makes me sound like some hippy, I am very fucking picky about who I spend time with, and when. And I got no male friends, waste of time, why spend time with guys when I can spend time with chicks. Excuse me, just need my meds, speaking of sincerity, yeah I use medications, wont tell you what, but its well, not for my "mental disorders" I was born crazy, and I am going to die like I live: INSANE.

what's worse than getting beaten by police? Getting beaten by Russian police

You know what happens when you assume right? Well, you make an educated guess based on prior knowledge to the circumstance at hand.

Man: Knock knock Man 2: who's there Alzheimer's patient: to get to the other side!

What's slower than mollasses? Your fattass mother!

So I was sitting in traffic the other day... And I got run over.

How many Mexicans can you fit in a Smart car? None. It's too damn small!

one morning i turned on my tv

You want to hear a joke? Republican

Why couldn't the teenage pirate get into the movie? Because he lacked the required money for the ticket.

Knock knock Who's there? Benjamin Benjamin who? Benjamin Dover Ben! I'm so glad you're home the kids have missed you so much!

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the only way to get across

Two blondes walk into a bar, but they are then puzzled as the door would not budge open for them.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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