Father Murphy met Samuel Myer on the street. Sam it's been a month o' Sundays since I've seen you. You look propserous. How's the moile business? A snip better, Father, since we talked last. And thank you. For what, Sam? Well the last time we met you asked what I did with the foreskins. Well, here is the answer, my new business. What's this, a wallet. But so smooth, Sam. Yeah, Father, but when you rub it. Rub it, Sam? Yeah when you rub it it falls apart. And you have to buy a new one! Mazel Tov!

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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why did jimmy fall of of the tractor? Because he is a potato

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Why was the man crying? He just got called and the doctor confirmed he had AIDS.

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What's the most confusing day in Mexico? Father's Day.

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What did lil' Bobby get for christmas? Cancer.

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Ask me for £1000 Can I have £1000 No get a job

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What do you do when your condom breaks during sexual intercourse? Get AIDS.

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Why did little Suzan fall of the swing? She has no arms. Knock,Knock Who's there? Not Suzan

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why did the chicken cross the road it didnt

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Artichoke is a vegetable state induced by swallowing paint

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Why did the bartender refuse to let the black man in ? Because the bar was about to close.

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Q: What do you call a blonde, a brunette, and a red head all who are 16 years old and standing in a school? A: High School Students

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how does hitler drink soup ? with a spoon

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Why can't Scrillex fish? Because He is too busy to practice fishing.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in cirlcles? nail its hand to the floor

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i got 99 problems.... and aids is one

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How do you kill a blonde? Tell her she can breath underwater.

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Why was the man wearing all white? He was a part of the Ku Klux Kan.

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Jesus walks into a bar, the bartender shoot the zombie

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Q: Whats the difference between a Jewish man and a pizza? A: Jew's are humans and can feel emotions, as for pizza's can not feel emotions, because they are pizzas.

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why dont you ever run over a black guy thats on a bike? because you will be sewed and also probably have the shit kicked out of you

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Terry has ebola

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How did leatherface cut a tree when he lost his chainsaw? He just asked a friendly neighbor to borrow him a axe

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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