Where do you find a dog with no legs ? Same place you left it ...

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A: u wanna die? B: does anyone really wanna die, i mean logistically, un-less u are suicidal, why would you wanna die? A: I do wanna die. B: ur a freak and you should consider getting help person A never got help, on his way to getting help at a certified physician he got hit by a bus, his body can be found at the intersection of church ave. and flatbush. And i would say rest in piece but cars drive over him daily, and thats not to peaceful

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken saw some potential food across the street.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock knock. Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mop who? (I eat ma poo) Haha. ~Ali M.~

thumb_up thumb_down +11

your momma's so fat that she weighs a lot

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why'd the littler girl fall of the swing? because a drunk driver ran through the swing, the little girl was killed. he was later charged with manslaughter.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a black man eating a chair. I don't know and this is highly unlikely because chairs are inedible therefore this circumstance is impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Caitlin Jenner has a mangina.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Get Outta Here We're Closed!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

how many dirty stinkin apes does it take to put in a lightbulb? 3 dirty stinkin apes, 1 dirty stinkin ape to put in the lightbulb and 2 dirty stinkin apes to throw feces at each other

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What does a sailboad and a walrus have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

You know what topping goes bad with ice cream? Chloroform

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A terminte walks into a pub and ask is the bar tender here?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the T-Rex say to the chicken? Nothing. First of all because the Tyrannousaurus Rex has been extinct for over 65 million years and secondly because Tyrannousaurus Rex's and chickens are both animals of lower intelligence so they cannot talk to one another.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Feminism.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the Doctor say to the patient. You have AIDS The patient took out a machete and stabbed the Doctor. The Doctor died. Two weeks later, the patient died of AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

1500 Jews were ordered to walk a straight path whilst in the midst of a blizzard. How close did they ever get to the end? What end? They marched until every last bit of their rotten Jew flesh was driven from their weak bodies. --Amon Goeth

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the platypus have no friends? Platipi are antisocial creatures by nature.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A couple is playing chess. The man then chokes his wife to death, throws her body in a woodchopper, and eats her like cereal- Frost

thumb_up thumb_down +11

wat is the name of a girl u can play connect the dots on her face laurie pisciotta

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a pedophile.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the husband and wifes marriage fail? The husband slept with many other women and is putting his family through a hellacious situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Doctor, doctor, I have a cavity! Go to the dentist.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops