Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

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What did the blonde waitress say to the man with a curly moustache? Good evening, are you ready to order?; yes [x2]; and what would you like with it?; certanly; there you go; no, I'm sorry; right.

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bar man a walks a into...DYSLEXIA IS NOT FUNNY.

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Why did the little girl drop her teddy bear? Because she was being sexually molested. Why did the little Jewish girl drop her teddy bear? Because gas came out of the shower-head.

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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Okay, this is a real joke: A guy slips on a banana and falls down in the most funny way ever, so a girl nearby starts laughing when she suddenly realizes the guy is bleeding profoundly, so she runs over to help, but it turns out the blood was just ketchup so... Just then they both got run over and killed by a car.

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Why does Charlie Sheen do cocaine? Because his father was a poor role model and he's an unstable celebrity.

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What did god say when he saw the first black person? He will do alright for him self

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If I Had A Brick I Would Throw It At You

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Q: How do you give a frigid woman an orgasm? A: By making her come.

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A gay Asian guy walks into a gay bar where he found a fruity looking black man... The Asian went up to the black man and said, " how'r they hanging?" shocked with anger, the black man hits him in the face, knocks him to the ground and said, " YOU DO NOT TALK TO MY FAMILY THAT WAY. BOTH MY GRANPARENTS WERE LYNCHED!!!" the Asian stands up and brushes himself off... He turns to the black guy and says " I meant the balance scale at the table you were were sitting at" the black fellow turns to the table with the notebook and the balance scale with rocks on both sides that he was sitting at... He turns back to the Asian man and apologizes for his rude behavior and buys him a drink... (2 hours later) they have sex

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why did suzy fall off the swing? she has no arms, knock knock who's there? Not suzy!

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There was a man with a job and kids. One day he came home from his job and went to sleep. He never woke up because it turns out he had a heart attack.

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A black guy and a mexican guy are falling from a building. Which one hits the ground first? Who cares

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Roses are red Violets are blue ... Uhhhh I don't think anyone knows the rest of this!!!!!!

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A man serves his wife dinner. She laughes and tells him it tastes funny. He then procedes to tell her that is because he put large amounts of poision into the food.

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how do you wake up a cat? you break it.

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An alien just ate your family and all of the things you love

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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Why won't Santa be delivering presents this year? Because he can't be bothered.

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How do you get the icing in the middle of a cupcake? Cupcake raper...Duh

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What do you call a black man that likes potatoes? Whatever his name is.

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Jordan is pregant

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Why did the chair break? The person that sat in it was over weight

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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