Why was the boy sick? Because he accidently ate his own feces.

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A man walks up to his boss and asks "Do you want to hear a funny joke?". His boss replied,"Yes". Before the man could finish his joke, his boss had a heart attack and died instantly. The next day, when he's in his car with his wife, he asks "You want to hear a joke?", the wife replied "Sure,". before the man could finish his joke, a car hit them and the wife died but the man happened to survive. The next day, he sat on a bench mourning, his friend walked up to him and asked, "Why are you sad?". the man answered, "Every time I try and tell a joke someone dies!", his friend said, "That's not true, just tell me the joke." "Ok" "Two Pigeons walk into a-". Before he can finish his joke his friends is kidnapped and killed. Sadly, the man walks to a ledge, jumps off and commits suicide. The End

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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yo momma is so stupid she went and got her self checked for mental retardedness and it turns out she happens to be autistic.

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Whats the difference between a giraffe and an elephant. Ones a giraffe and ones and elephant

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whats worse than a wussy times two a wusst times three i like boobs u basterds suck a dick

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Q: what did batman say to robin before they got into the car? A: get in the car (:

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the blue man livedin the blue house the black man in the black house the white man in the white house but who lived in the white house ,not the white man barack obama

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Why did Helen Keller cross the road? Hoefuwpugosihfioapfsoihosw[

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Why wasn't Abraham Lincoln a good president? Because he got shot in the head and died.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Hook. Hook who? Who are you Hooking Your Horns to?

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what happens when you throw a rock in the water? it gets wet

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What's red white, blue and hilarious? Glasgow Rangers in administration!

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High enough to know that fucking IQ is a terrible way to measure the total potential of the mind, which is potentially limitless depending on the person`s contact and control over the subconscious state.

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My arms get tired from carrying my big diick everywhere, well at least it's better than dragging it

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What did the crazy asian man say just before he died? He didn't say anything- he was in an 18 month long coma due to a brain stem stroke. He left behind a wife, a 3 year old daughter and a newborn son.

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Two guys walk into a bar, but the third guy is a duck.

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Q: What happened when Cupid shot his arrow into the guys heart? A: He died

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Roses are Red Your Face Has Turned Blue This Pillow I have Is Smothering You

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How do you make a fat man cry? You call him fat.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The first is a person of the Jewish Faith and the other is a popular item of food.

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What do you do when you're surrounded by 15 vampires and 15 werewolves? Stop pretending.

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What's red and funny? The holocaust

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Alternate ending for children: Despite the massive trauma that the spider suffered from his fall and the sheer volume of rain in the confined space of a pipe, it made a miraculous recover due to the sun coming out. It was however, forever doomed to repeat this cycle of undeath for ever more. [L]

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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