What did the elephant say to the pelican? He didn't say anything. I lied.

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I used to be schizophrenic, but we're ok now.

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Ben: Something smells like updog. Jenny: What's updog? Ben: Nothin' much

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WHAT DYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE MEAN YE DON'T KNOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW?

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Jimmy: Daddy how are babies made? Dad: If i knew how you wouldn't be here...

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Donald Duck walks into a drug store and asks the lady behind the counter for a bag of condoms. So the lady says, "Sure thing sir, would you like me to put that on your bill"? Donald says," THIT(Shit)NO, I'LL THUFFOCATE! (Suffocate)

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A man walks into a bar, he then proceeds to purchase his favorite alcoholic beverage.

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Why did Ian pass his CRB check? Because he committed his crimes on holiday

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Sally walked into a bar and asked for a drink. Because she was under 21 they denied her request,

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How do you make a clown happy then sad? You give him pot then shoot him in the foot

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whats worse than not being able to hear? not being able to breath fvd n avt were here

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Q: What's worse than getting hit by a bus? A: Herpes, AIDS, Diarrhea, Constipation, Castration, Super Herpes, or the song "Friday."

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Q. What did the mockingbird say to the blue jay? A. I mock you by mocking you

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How do you know you're on a blind date with a black person? If they agree to eat at KFC in Compton (Wyndellberg)

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what is the difference beyween football and baseball the superbowl and world series

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69 cents for a rainbow donut shaped as a 69....

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Too many because they are babies and they don't have the motor skills to properly use a paintbrush.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Your momma is so ugly she gave freedy krooger nightmares!

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? cancer

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Dad: hi son Kid: (looks sad and looks at the ground) Dad: what's wrong son. Kid:I raped a girl. Dad:Who? Did you rape son! Kid:mom.

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knock knock who's there? I'm here.

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why are black people scared of chain saws? because it goes runnigganigganiggarunnigganigganigga

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What is a baby chick after 9 days old? 10 days old.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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