What did the elephant say to the pelican? He didn't say anything. I lied.

What's worse than a burglar breaking into your house in the middle of the night? A rapist breaking into your house in the middle of the night.

A man walks into a bar, he then proceeds to purchase his favorite alcoholic beverage.

Why was the woman out of the kitchen? She was at her mother's funeral.

I used to be schizophrenic, but we're ok now.

Jimmy: Daddy how are babies made? Dad: If i knew how you wouldn't be here...

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferarri? I don't have a ferarri in my garage.

Why do jews get their foreskin cut off? Because they're jewish.

WHAT DYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE MEAN YE DON'T KNOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW?

Donald Duck walks into a drug store and asks the lady behind the counter for a bag of condoms. So the lady says, "Sure thing sir, would you like me to put that on your bill"? Donald says," THIT(Shit)NO, I'LL THUFFOCATE! (Suffocate)

Why did Ian pass his CRB check? Because he committed his crimes on holiday

Ben: Something smells like updog. Jenny: What's updog? Ben: Nothin' much

Q: What did the giraffe say to the sunflower? A: I like your shoelaces!

Why did the person name her OC telephone? I have no idea, please let me know why.

Your mother is so fat that LOWERLOWEOROLWERLOWEH OIRH OWER IOWEJ OR OIJWE :JWEJKLR

whats the worst part about being a black jew your black and jewish

Why can't Ray Charles see his friends? He's blind. Also he is dead.

You wanna know what's out of this world? The moon.

Why did the blond have a wierd look on her face? Because she was ugly

Jumping out of an airplane without a parachute is a once in a lifetime expeirence.

Q. What is the difference between an ass kisser and a brown noser? A. Depth Perception.

Why couldn't the little girl swing? She didn't have any limbs.

what can you blow up and sleep with at night? An air mattress

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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