A preschool teacher told his class to draw a squirrel. One child proceeds to break into tears. The teacher says "what's wrong Johnny?" Johnny said "my whole family was slaughtered by a gang of squirrels!" this upset the teacher

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What happened when the blind man reached for his soda? He picked it up, took a sip, and placed it back down where it was and continued with what he was doing.

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Knock knock Who's there? Derek the crazy man in the village and I have come to shoot you.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person if the Jewish religion and a pizza is a type of food.

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Yo mama's so fat, that when she jumped, gravity pushed her back to the floor!

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Where did the kittens go on their class filed trip? Nowhere, animals are not permitted to enter a museum unless they are eye seeing dogs helping a person who lacks vision.

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An american man, chinese man, black man, and a Mexican man walk into a bar. The american man says i want to show you guys a trick, so they go to the empire state building and the american man jumps off the side and comes back up alive. He tells them i will do it one more time, watch closely. So he jumps off and comes back alive. The american guy tells the chinese man to do it. So the chinese guy jumps off and dies. Then the american guy tells the mexican to jumps off, sonhe does it. The mexican man dies and the black guy is told to do it and he is afraid, but still does it, he dies. The american man goes back to the bar and the barkeep says "Superman you can be a real dick when your drunk!"

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A man, a dog and a pregnant woman walked into a bar, the man bought a beer, the dog was put back outside as the pub didn't allow animals and the pregnant woman didn't buy anything alcoholic as she didn't want to risk the life of her unborn child-she had a soda.

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A 14 year girl enjoys exploring the sexual regions of her body, whilst having one of her intimate sessions her brother walks into her room. Her brother was a rather sexual 17 year old, who has had sex with several different girls, and is not afraid to try new things. the brother says " get a room to his sister... oh wait" and walks out

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What rhymes with float,boat,moat,coat and goat but can not be on a boat, can not float, can not be in a moat, can not be on a coat and can not ride a goat? A zoat because it's not a real word and therefore is incapable of doing any of those things.

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Why did the black man have drugs? He had a very serious medical condition that involved putting himself at a high risk at any time without proper medications, therefore he requires drugs to sustain him and hopefully prevent him from dying. To immediately believe that he was in possession of illegal drugs is a very racist assumption that is representative of one of the numerous racial problems that faces our society today.

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What's the same between a white guy and a black guy? They are both white except for the black guy.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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What's worse than a cow on the ceiling? - two cows on the ceiling.

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Why couldn't the little boy open his bedroom door? He was dead.

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As I was riding my bike down the road, I saw a young boy being raped in a dark alley way. I proceeded to pedal and acted like i had seen nothing.

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What does a black man do when drives up to a STOP sign? Stops.

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YEAH THEY DO!

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What's a boulder's favorite type of music? Boulders don't have ears.

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A small child walks past a man on the street: Fortunately, as the man hates children he is perfect height to let a massive fart rip in his face on the way past. His mum looks disgusted. They carry on with their day.

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Why did I laugh at a joke? Cuz it was funny

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how do you get a clown off a swing? hit him with an axe

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YOU WONT GIVE THIS A THUMBS UP!!!! YOU WONT DO ITTTT

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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