Yo mama is so fat that she is in a diet and wants to lose weight by eating healthy.

Why'd the guy fall off the building? I pushed him

What's the best way to win a race? Run faster than all other participants.

What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

If you watch the titanic backwards, its really about a magical ship which saves peoples lives!

A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is rubbish. It only opens from 1 to 16.

The man was so nice It's too bad he couldn't hear the bus coming.

Why did the kid get on the bus. Because he had to go home

how do people without arms and legs have sex? no one has sex with people without arms and legs.

So a man walks into a bar and gets drunk.

Why did the jewish family move? Their house burnt down. They lost everything and was tragic

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a women.

What do you call an giraffe? Well, you should probably call it a giraffe if you want people to think you are literate and know your grammar.

A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers and the middles for you

The Dark knight rises................. From the place he was before he rose.

why was the little boy sad he found out he had breast cancer

Why didnt the vampire have a reflection? You have to be real to have a reflexion

What's a foot long and slippery? A slipper.

What's black and white and red all over? A modern abstract painting

how do we call a person with no body nor nose? a dead guy

Why did the black person sit in the back of bus? All the other seats were taken.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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