What did the black guy do when he heard sirens? He Ran

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What is the loneliest number to exist? Zero. Except it's not lonely. I'm just saying there are zero lonely numbers. Numbers aren't sentient. They can't feel loneliness.

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Love is in the air? Wrong. Nitrogen, Oxygen and Carbon Dioxide are in the air.

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What do you call a black man with a knife and red liquid on his hands? A chef who accidently spilled strawberry jam on himself.

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After a long day on the movie set, Lindsay Lohan decides to go out to a bar. She gets really drunk and high on drugs and some guy takes her back to her trailer and stuffs her muffin.

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A frog found a smoking cigarette on the road, so he/she takes it, smokes it, and explodes.

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Why was the man unable to get an erection? Because he was a woman

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! That is a joke which very few people would find even mildly entertaining.

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A woman is about to buy a house and is faced with a difficult decision. She must choose which house she'll buy the next day. During the night she thinks about it and the next morning she has made a rational decision. What house did she choose ? TRICK QUESTION - Women can't make rational decisions.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Whats the best way to take down a skycraper? -Crash a plane into it-

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS. AIDS is worse.

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What did one duck say to the other? "Quack!"

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What's green and has 4 wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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what do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names.

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why do women have small feet. so they can stand closer to the sink

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I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one animal there and it was a dog. It was a shitzoo

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Knock knock! Who's there? Atch! Okay.

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Your mother." "Your mother who?" "Really?"

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A horse walks into a bar... Horses are not indigenous to China.

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how do you wake up lady gaga poke her face

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what looks like a banana, smells like like a banana, but isn't a banana? a fake banana

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This comment is anti to jokes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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