How did Sarah Offet win? He had no arms. Knock, knock? Whose there? Not Sarah Offet

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Her Majesty's Government of the United Kingdom of Great Britain

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An anti joke a day... really doesn't actually do that much

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A rapist walks into a bar. He is promptly arrested afterwards.

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I SHOT SOMEBODY!!!! Said no stormtrooper ever.

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? a bike

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Where did the girl go after the explosion? Everywhere

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What would a man say if you urinated all over his legs? WHAT THE DEUCE?

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What did the robot say to the child? Nothing, he malfunctioned and strangled him. Despite the authorities best efforts to free the kid, he was still strangled because robots are really strong. After killing the boy, the robot self destructed and leveled 5 city blocks everyone within the vicinity was killed.

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The sword that kills, the sword that gives life.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Iif your reading this ur gay

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Yo Momma is Like a Prostitute... ...I pay her for sexual intecourse

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? Nope.

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What was the difference between an Irishmen and a apple? Alot.

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What did the butler say to the guest while his master is in the bathroom? Butler: "Sir, will you wait while the Master bathes?" Guest: "How long will he be, I'm quite busy!" Butler: "He shouldn't be long sir, he should be finishing up now."

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A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

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What is BIG, STIFF, AND FULL OF SEMEN!!!? A SUBMARINE!!!!!!!

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Q: Why did the Jew have to go to a concentration camp? A: Because he was Jewish

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Knock knock. whos their! Grammar police. We'd like to have a little chat.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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"You can't get past" "I'll get future" dad cri mom cri boy bang girl girl cri women's rites sholdnt exist.

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Due to the wildlife conservation program prevalent in the neighborhood, the chicken was able to cross the road safely.

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Two black guys walked into a bar. And they killed everybody.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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