What is worse than being bitten by a snake? Being bitten twice! - Louis

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I'm a Banker. A woman asked if I could check her balance... So I pushed her off a cliff.

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Whats worse than standing on lego? Rebecca black. whats worse than Rebecca Black? Justin Bieber. Whats worse than justin Bieber? Standing on a baby that isnt yours.

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What's sad about a pile of dead people? They didn't have life insurance.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer murdered his family

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No!

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A clueless chicken walks into a bar. Now being cooked on the BBQ.

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XD That one was awesome Nero, for a moment I was really wondering if you refer towards a tough guy as yourself as a boy. Now you pretty lucky I like tough guys, and you always have a savage joke at hand don't you?

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once, my friend said hi. i said hi back

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A young boy recently saved a priests life. He found a solid lump on his testicle.

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#IsaiahAfterAD&B

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Q: What does a baby and an old man have in common? A: They both pee in public

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Michael Jackson walks into a bar. Everyone runs out, screaming, "AH, a dead guy is walking!"

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a termite walks into a bar and asks, "wheres the bar tender?"

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Where can I find a good Prostitute? Your Parents House.

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Yo momma's so fat that she's gotta get a special door that will allow her to get through.

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How do you stop a bus from hitting you?? You throw small children to impede the progress of the bus.

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THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME

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Why did the Chinese family eat a dog? Because they were poor and starving refugees.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Q: What did the pedestrian say to the bus driver that hit him? A: Nothing, he died.

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So there were three guys on a plane. they all died.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, ask the chicken.

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How do you get a ninja to do a backflip? Ask him nicely.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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