If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

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A young couple just gave birth to their first child and the doctor says, I’ve good some good news and some bad news, what do you want first? Give us the bad news first, the parents reply. Your baby has red hair, says the doctor. Well whats the good news, ask the parents. It’s dead.

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God made Coke God made Pepsi God made me, Oh so sexy

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What does an Israeli gun sound like? Jew, jew, jew, jew, jew

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Guy 1: Hey, did you hear about this blind guy who went bungee jumping off a bridge? Guy 2: No, what happened? Guy 1: He couldn't see Jack!

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What's worse than a joke An ANTIJOKE!

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why did the supermodel have sex with the janitor? she loved him. and he was brad pitt.

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Why did Johnny's pants fall down? Because he was fat.

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Why did the man go to Cantabria, Spain? Because he liked potatoes... jk

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what do you give a little girl with no arms no legs and who lives in a orfanidge for christmas?.................................... nothing because no parent wants a freak kid

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What do a mole and an eagle have in common? They both can fly except for the mole

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Q:How do you kill a blonde? A:The same way you kill everyone else.

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How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

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What does it take to shit in a shower?? To choke on a whambar and be 90 kgs!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What chicken?

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Q. what is black ans white and red all over A. a shot to death zebra

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How many people does it take to screw a light bulb? One, it's all the sex they can get.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To cause global mayhem.

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Two guys walk into a bar, have a good time, and exit the bar, relatively sober. They are driven home by a friend who agreed to be the designated drive for safety purposes and enjoy the rest of the evening with their wives, to whom they are happily married. Then the joke ends abruptly.

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Roofs are Red...I have a Cunt!!!

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Why didn't Joe catch the baseball? He got shot by a local gang.

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why did the baby cross the road i tied it to the back of a car

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a man walks into a bar... he was then shot to death because he was a slave in the early 1800s

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The last joke I tried to submit used "trolololol" as the enter code thing and I spelled it without the extra "lol" The lolz have got me again *this time it asked me for "basket case"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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