A man walks in to a bar and everyone screamed running out the door.

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How do you get a girl with two jobs to drop on her knees? Through a penny on the knees

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Why a man without hands and without legs want to stay in a barrel? He actually doesn't, but is unable to get out of it.

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How many friendzoned guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They just compliment it then get mad when it won't screw.

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What is better than getting a job? Getting a better job.

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Colin is gay but toasters are not

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kk

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A baby walks into a bar and the bartender says.... Where is your mom?

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hi

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? This site.

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If I tell you that seeing you happy, is my main motivation towards accepting right now, would you believe me?

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Lol, she does not think anything, she knows. Its not unfaithfulness if you ask for permission and are granted so because the trust is strong and mutual.

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so a black guy, an asian, and a scott are sitting at a bar, they drink responsibly, pay their tab, and leave. The evening couldn't have been more pleasant.

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My friend is a famous actor. Fooled you! I have no friends.

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Yo mama so old, she must take arthritus medicine to keep out of extreme pain.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Why wasn't the woman happy when she gave birth? Because she was thrown into a pool of semen 9 months ago.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the shed I'm gonna screw you

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Why did the boy cry Because he fell

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Why did the dog have no legs? Because its previous owner had cut them off.

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What did the blonde say when she saw a tan button on her calculator? That must mean tangent.

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Yo momma so fat, she was recently diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and is at great risk for developing heart disease!

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Knock knock Who's there? Hi would you be interested in learning about Scientology? No

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Where it had just witnessed a horrific car accident involving it's spouse, who died on impact. Eventually the chicken fell into a deep depression, taking it out on his children in the form of physical abuse. Over time, the chicken ended up being alone, having no contact with his kids, having no friends, and living in a massive house with no one else. One day, he had a stroke, and no one called an ambulance because no one knew.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops