What did the black man in a white van get when he went over the speed limit? A speeding ticket

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Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

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Q: What's worse than getting a divorce? A: I don't know, i'm still married.

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Why did Timmy miss school? He was killed in a tragic school bus accident

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How do you hurt a clown? shoot it.

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What's the difference between your garage and mine? A pile of dead babies.

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Whats invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts

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Why did Bert go to the doctor? He had an appointment.

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What did the orange say to the lemon? "Hello"

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Guns dont kill people...whoever pulled the trigger kills people

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme The end

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How do you put a bananna in a mini-van? Walk up to the mini-van and stick it in the backseat.

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hey chris what yu doing wit my back pack? using it..

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Q-What was Hitlers favorite hobby to proceed in when he was sad? A- Manipulating populations and raping,torturing and mutilating the Jewish population.

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You know your in Houston when... The highway sign says so.

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Your mom is so fat, she went to the hospital, and they intern, turned her exess fat into 12 babies.

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Why did chuck norris die Brain tumor

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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A guy walks into a bar, has a few drinks with his mates and gets highly intoxicated.

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a lady says, " i cant stand this." Th guy next to her had his legs blown off and will never be able to stand again.

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So a guy walks into a bar. It hurt really bad. He was pissed, so he went home and took his seal to a club.

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what do you get if you put a baby in a microwave? an erection

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I hope your not allergic to bees Because your about to be attacked by a live tiger.

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How do you rescue a fat girl that's stuck under a car? With a pickaxe and a donkey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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