Ah, sorry for my failed attempt at being a witty. Yes, it has been a long day, or so the saying goes.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

(Something terribly disturbing that people find funny)

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a puppy in alaska? A cold PUPPY!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whys the Elephant afraid of the mouse? i dont know im not an Zoologist

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why didn't the boy finish the race? He was handicapped

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did a little kid's mom let go of his hand? John Wilks Booth shot her

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what's worse than a dead baby in the bathtub? if the baby was named Grace.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why is Michael J. Fox so go at dance? Because he took lesson as a child

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the one eyed boy say at the movie theater? 3D was a boy choice

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did Mary fall of the swing? Because she had no arms. Who pushed johnny of the cliff? Certainly not Mary

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is the difference between ashes and a jew? A lot

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why does Santa Clause say Ho Ho Ho? He has Tuberculosis.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive a train? Because she was blind, deaf, and most likely uneducated in the field of train conduction.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A momma tomato and a baby tomato are walking down the street, and the baby tomato starts to fall behind. The mother turns to it and says "hurry up."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was the old man climbing the flag pole? Because he had Alzheimer, and he was losing his grasp of reality.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree? No

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I think my son might be gay. He's started to listen to Justin Bieber, and last week I walked in on him engaging in penetrative anal sex with one of his friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the priest say to the Atheist when he walked into the church? How are you?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the five fingers say to the face? Nothing. Fingers cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why do woman cook dinner? Because their husband has 6 jobs and is trying to support his family so she does a part and cooks dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops