There was a man and a woman. In a lodge all alone ready to create a child. instead of having sex he violently punched her in the face and stabbed her in her armpits until her loud screams for help had stopped.

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Knock Knock ? Whose's there ? The person you should be opening the door for The person you should be opening the door for who? Oh my god Frank open the goddamn door

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I haven't read and I don't agree to the Terms of Service

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how does a a fat person dance? with his feet

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Q.what is worse than finding a worm in your apple? A.finding two worms.

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2 doctors are talking to each other: -Dead? -Dead.

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Once upon a time there was a cowboy. He died. The end.

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Did you hear the one about the bus driver? Me neither

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knock knock whos there steve i dont know you go away

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VaginaBoob ^.^

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Q: What did bulbasoar say to charmander? A: Bet ya thought I was gunna say Bulbasoar!!

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar. He is soon kicked out as he is underage.

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two penguins are hanging out in Antartica. the one looks to the other an says "man its really cold out" the other quicky waddles away because of the strange alien sound its friend just made

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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What do you get if you convict a white man of murder? A black man in prison.

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A priest, a rabbi and a scientologist walk into a bar. They discuss their various religious viewpoints until the scientologist gets a call informing him of his mother's death. The priest buys him a drink. Then the priest gets a call informing him of his mothers death. The rabbi buys him a drink. The rabbi gets a call. The scientologist expects it to be about the rabbi's mother dying, so he prematurely buys him a drink. It was actually the lottery commission telling the rabbi he won 48 million dollars.

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What did the black man say to the other black man? We both share the same ethnicity

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Q.What do you call a friend with benefits? A. a buck fuddy.

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Why did the little boy fall of his bicycle? It was the first time he road without his training wheels.

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Why was Johnny so mad at his father? Because his father had a constant drinking problem and was very abusive.

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Nero, you got followers, people that believe in you, ironically maybe a lot less now, that I have been giving them the fake illusion that I am you, why did you never reveal your true self? Is there something wrong with you physically? Something you fear being judged upon? I love and admire your work, and you to be honest, I know you are married and all, but my heart has chosen its path, it cant be helped really, believe me, I have tried. Dont lose hope in yourself, sometimes you have to accept that you are smarter, wiser, more compassionate and vulnerable than the rest, allowing yourself to be a vulnerable person, also shows how strong you are, if you shut it all away in order to become "strong", you know you end up alone and forgotten. I understand why someone such as you loses hope in humanity, but as long as you hold into the hope of you having the wisdom and courage required to stand on your own with pride rather than shame of your strength and individuality as a human being, something ever rarer I concur, then you have the right to consider yourself greater rather than some arrogant jackass, believe me, I know the man I am speaking about.

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Did you hear about the guy who lost his arm and leg in a car crash? Well, he just died in hospital. RIP.

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick.

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why was the boy sad? he had a frog stapled to his face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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