Q: What do Magic Johnson and Freddie Mercury have in common? A: Freddie Mercury is dead.

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4 gay men walk into a bar,but there is only one stool..... What do they do? Turn it over

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Q. What do you get when you cross a bird with a human? A. Arrested.

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What's green fury has 4 legs, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you. A pool-table

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how many jews does it take to fit in a mid-size sedan? -5 comfortably.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

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Why was the strict Asian father angry when his son got an A- on his test? He found out that his son had been cheating.

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Why can't Helen Keller have sex? She is dead

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasnt due to the fact that numbers have no feeling.

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What do you get if you cross a Kangaroo and a Sheep? They are too entirely different species and cannot be crossbred.

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Do you know what it looks like when you put a cat in the microwave for 3 minutes? I don't know either because I close my eyes when I masturbate.

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Miscarriages.

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What is worse then falling into a lava pit? Nothing you idiot.

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Why was little Jimmy sad? Multiple complications including broken bones, a fractured skull, liver disease, and the fact that all his family had been gassed by the Nazis.

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Women deserve equal rights.

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What's long hard and full of seman. A submarine.

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What's red, crunchy, and hard to chew. A brick.

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What's the difference between a bicycle? An orange because it has no sleeves.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she no arms

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A man walks into a doctor's office and says "Doc, I blacked out last night and have a sore ass." The doctor took some x-rays and informed him he had colon cancer.

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

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how do you save a black person that's drowning? you blow up their lips

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Why did Susie drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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