Roses aren't blue Violets aren't red She was my ex wife But now she's just dead.

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A man walks into a bar, he now has a mild concussion

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What's pink and when you press a button it turns red? A baby in a blender. What's pink and when you hit it against the wall sounds metallic? A baby with two forks stuck in its eyes.

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Why the guy without two hands at the beach was so excited? Because he couldn't scratch his asshole.

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Q: Why didn't the dirty man jump into the shower? A: Because he spotted the potential danger to jump into a slippery shower and proceeded with caution.

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What is both blue and yellow at the same time? Green.

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "A door to door salesman. Are you unsatisfied with the way your dish soap handles your plates? Then I have the product for you!" "I'm not interested in your product, but thank you anyway." "No problem. On an off note, how did you hear me? I didn't speak very loudly when I said knock knock, and I didn't even bother to knock on the door or ring the doorbell." "I have really good hearing." "Oh, okay. And for future reference, maybe you should open the door when talking to a visitor. Then body language gets established and the conversation flows more nicely that way." "That's some good advice, and I'll take it. Thanks, salesman." "You're welcome. On to the next house."

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What do you call a horse that likes to box? A horse

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Why did the man have an extremely large nose? It just so happens that both his father and mother had large noses as well and nature took it's course.

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Why Bono always walk barefoot ? Because he's an asshole.

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Why do people waste time reading these jokes. Because they like anti jokes.

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What's the difference between a chicken? One leg is both the same

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing hide and seek with Dennis Ferguson

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so a guy walks into a bar, he says nothing for he now has a concusion

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What's worse than a teacher yelling at you? The holocaust

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Guest what? Dog

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Why did the old lady talk to a tree? She had Alzheimer's and was going to die.

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What do you call an Englishman, an Irishman and a Chineseman playing football? 3 friends playing their favourite sport.

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Q: What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by 2 giant scorpions, a fridge, some potatoes and a hule bunch of worms.

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Ants are the Velociraptors of the insect world.

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all walk into a bar. They order martinis and have a nice evening.

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what does lady gaga have that some people dont have? a penis.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He orders a drink without making any grammatical errors.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops