What's tiny and smells like a big banana? A tiny banana

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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Roses are red Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet But i have commitment issues So I'd rather just be friends at this point in our relationship.

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Why did Michael Phelps drown? He didn't because he is the best swimmer in olympic history.

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Roses are Orange Violets are Green I'm Colorblind..

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NASCAR

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test

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Whats tha difference between blacktop and an airplane wing??? Well, alot. I bet you knew that.

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Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

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What word is always spelled wrongly? None of them. Every word has been spelled right at some point.

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What did I wake upto this morning that was white , cold and 2 inches deep? My tiny flaccid penis.

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What did the panda say to the other panda? We are fuzzy Oreos

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Know who had straight parents? Adolf Hitler.

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You know that song "FIrework" by Katy Perry? Well, I ate a hotdog last night.

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How do you know if you are an alien? When you start maulesting sea creatures for their milk

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What did one dandelion say to the other dandelion? Answer- Take me to your weeder!

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2 black kids walk into school

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i killed my family

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there once was a cat it was brown? fus-roh-dah

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What did the Rabbi get for Christmas? Nothing because as you know Rabbi's are members of the Jewish community and therefore don't celebrate Christmas.

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Why was 9/11 funny? It wasnt; amny people died.

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How many TV shows are there? A lot.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has Stevie Wonder.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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