Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey.

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What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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Don't tell anyone, the Health Department is already on our backs.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a sandwhich... I dont rape my sandwhiches before i eat them

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What do you call a german soldier? A Nazi

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A young black guy was explaining how he was raised by a single mother

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A black guy and a white guy are arguing over what race god is. So they go to god and ask what race he is. They never got their answer, because god doesn't exist.

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A Chinese man and an american lived together. The Chinese man said to the american man, "I'm going to walk the dog." The American said "OK." Later that night they were eating dinner. The American said to the Chinese man, "I don't think that I've had this meat before. What is it?" The Chinese man replied, "The dog." The American, surprised, spewed out the food he was eating. "THE DOG!?" he yelled, shocked. The Chinese man replied, "Yes, I TOLD you I was going to wok the dog!"

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What did the white man say to the black man that was very interested in the story he had to tell? Cool Story bro, tell it again!

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What do you get when you put a pig in an oven? A dead pig.

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The t rex said to the textbook ............. Im not going to read you

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Panda walks into a restaurant with gun ready to eat, shoot and leave to finish a really good grammar joke, but before he can eat, Animal Control tranquilize him and seize his gun. So all he can do is leave unconscious. Meanwhile someone takes enjoyment in slowly burning the dictionary entry for "Panda".

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What's orange and fluffy? Orange Fluff

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why does everyone like this website? ... because every other joke a little baby is dying.

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Two dinosaurs go to a theme park. On the way home they contemplate that they didn't really enjoy themselves. They decide to buy some ice cream to cheer them up a bit. They are severely frustrated by the lack of fun they had for the money they paid. Then they go to sleep. I completely forgot how this joke went, but your mom's a slut.

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If two blondes had a kid it would probably be a blonde because two recessive chromosomes have a higher chance of showing than one dominant gene.

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Why did the christmas tree smell like shit? because pavaroti used it as a dildo

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There's a black man in my family tree. Therefore, I could be considered biracial.

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What is worse than being paralyzed from the neck down Nothing

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How does Hitler tie his shoes? With little Nazis.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, they really should be purple.

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What did the boob say to the bra? sup bra

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Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero Because it's impossible.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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