JAMIE STEGMAN IS A MASSSIVE DERP Jess Pots. YOUR A NOOB

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Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

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why didn't sue come to her son's baseball game? because he doesn't play baseball, he lost his arms in a horrible plane crash. besides, sue died in that accident anyway.

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What's the difference between a bird and a pool table? Both of them fly, except for the pool table.

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What did the black man say to the white man when the white man was drunk and naked on the roof dancing? Quit fucking around Brad and get off my roof or I'm calling the police because this is the third time this month.

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Q: What did the mute kid say to his mother ?

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face" To which the horse replies by trampling him to death for making rude remarks about his face.

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What did the English man say to the Japanese man? Nothing, they were incapable of conversation because of the language barrier created by the fact that neither had one another's language as a part of their curriculum.

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Q: What is better than sex? A: A relationship where you can be completely intimate with your partner

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When life hands you lemons you can't make lemonade, Sugar and Water are two other key ingredients that were not included with the lemons.

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How many feet are in a yard? It depends how many people are in the yard.

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Why are hurricanes named after women? I don't know I was asking you

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A horse walks into a bar and asks the bartender "why the long face?" The bartender replies "this is the fourth time this week a horse walked into my bar and every time it happened i have to clean up a bunch of horse pooh!"

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All the planets are named after gods Ours is named after dirt....

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What happens when you cross a porcupine, a beaver, a duck, a go-cart, a dinosaur, a star, a cheap "Big 'n Beey" bathroom, and the cookie monster? Justin Bieber. XD

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A guy walks into a bar, and then is hit with the full force of all the things he never did in life, of how he wasted his younger years chasing a bigger paycheck rather than trying to live life, and all the love he wasted on people who didn't care about him. He begins to cry as his first drink arrives, and orders many more as the night passes. He loses his keys as he leaves and stumbles home in a drunken stupor, contemplating suicide.

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Besides the kama-sutra, what is the most popular sex position in India? 68 and 88. Moral: Mutation people... mutation... use your imagination.., Still gotta feel a bit of envy/admiration, it is known as the happiest nation of the world, with a happiness rate with a constant well over 80 percent, and that is FAR over any other nation.

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You see the love of your life. You can't say anything. She walks toward you. You can't move. She sits on you. You can't do anything. She starts crapping on you. You realize your a toilet. -Adam Chebali

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A white man/women works behing the counter at a 7/11

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A man and his dog walk into the park, the man grabs a ball and chucks it for the dog. The dog can not chase after the ball because he has no legs and bites his owners leg.

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What do you call a man with no legs? A leg-less man.

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what type of cat has green feathers? a green-feathered cat.

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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what do you call a gay guy in a sleeping bag? a fruit roll-up. GET IT? because gay guys like fruit roll-ups.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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