Q. What did the dead man do after he died? A. Nothing. He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What smells like smoke, sounds like a pig, and looks like a horse? My mom's boyfriend

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call it when an Arabic man gets shot? Murder.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the cookie monster eat? Food

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what meows and is fuzzy and smells like manure? a cat being being killed with a chainsaw next to a cow

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock Knock. Who's there? Joe Bereta is a member of al Qaeda.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock Knock Whose there? The pizza you ordered That's weird, the Pizza I ordered shouldn't be able to talk

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q. Why couldn't Billy see the pirate movie? A. Because his mom didn't let him.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Two fish walked into a bar. They died. Because fish can't breathe out of water.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's the difference between a lesbian and a Pringle ? One is a snack cracker, the other is a crack snacker.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

You read this in school as the kid sitting next to you stares at his computer screen.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did little Sally throw a stick of butter out the window? Sally had a burning hatred for dairy products.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by your great grandma

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She doesn't have arms. Knock, knock, Who's there? Not Sarah.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and smashed his head on a jagged rock and screamed in anguish. Jill watched in horror as her brother suffered through the agonizing pain. Jack was rushed to the hospital immediately, but despite the doctors' efforts, he died. Jill mourned the loss of her brother for many years after the incident.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats worst than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being stabbed.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is Rebecca Blacks favorite resurant? T.G.I Fridays...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What happened to the boat that sank? Everyone on it died

thumb_up thumb_down +13

An Irishman walks into a bar he asks for directions, and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How does a Welshman take a shit? Like anyone other human being does.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: What's the difference between a black man from San Diego and a white man from Miami? A: They live in different cities, and in the presidential election, the black man voted for Obama and the white man voted for McCain

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: How do you stop a hobo from stealing your money A: You steal the hobo

thumb_up thumb_down +13

— Knock knock. — Who's there? — Funny. — Funny who? — A funny joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops