What do you do when a bomb is exploding 2 inches away from you? You die.

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"i once had a rabbit named socks.he was a funny little fellow until one day he got over excited and...well..." "did he...i mean..you know..did he...?" "what?lose a claw,throw up, sit in a pan of warm water until he calmed down?" "yeah! :)" "yes...but then he died."

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A boy grows up loving tractors. For birthday and Christmas each year he got a tractor toy of some kind, until the age of 17, when he finally gave up tractors and got himself a CD player. One day, listening to all the latest tunes with some headphones, he looks outside to see his neighbour's house on fire. He goes outside to find firemen trying to put out the blaze. He jumps into the blazing house and inhales as much as he can, which astonishingly puts out the blaze. A fireman confusing asked "How did you do that?" The boy replies, " I'm an ex-tractor fan."

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Knock knock. Who's there? Falafel. Falafel who? I falafel. You feel awful? Ha, ha, ha! Oh, what a kneeslapper! Oh, God! Thanks for the laugh, I was feeling a little down and I... No, I just meant I ate a falafel. Oh. Yeah.

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you mooma's like a bowling bowl i pick her up finger her throw her down the gutter and she still comes back for more

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what is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a cadilac. a cadilac is something i want

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Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet, but she had anal hemorrhaging so it really hurt

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roses are blue, violets are unicorns, this poem doesnt make any sense. refrigerator

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A. Ask me if I am a tree B. Are you a tree? A. No idiot

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How do you punish Helen Keller? Send her to her room until she becomes civil enough to explain what was causing her misbehavior.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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How do you scare off a ghost? Tell him your ready for a commitment.

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What did the doctor say to the lawyer? Nothing. They weren't even together. He was in the hospital saving people and the lawyer was in his office working on a case.

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A man walks into a bar. He hits his head, and then goes to the nearest drinking establishment.

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Why did the bud driver drop his ice cream? Because he hit a boy.

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Q: On a scale of 1 to 10, what is your favorite color of the alphabet? A: Apple

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A group of young men walks into a bar. They drink some booze, laugh, have a great time and then go home to sleep.

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why cant black people swim? I dont know but they killed my family

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You are like really sincere aren't you? I really appreciate that in a friend. Thank you for being who you are Nero.

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Basically copying you.

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Sam slept and never woke up again.. Because he followed his dream.

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My brother is crazy... crazy like a fox! I caught him eating a Possum on the side of the road yesterday.

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What did the muslim get for christmas? Nothing.

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Q: what did i say when i crashed into the twin tower. A: nothing i was dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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