What did the woman say when her boyfriend asked her to marry him? Idk my bff jill.

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a cat and a duck walk into a pub. the cat enters first and says for the duck to put all of their drinks on his bill. the duck(being a duck)says nothing because ducks cannot speak. therefore the cat shouldnt have been speaking either.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one.It is a very simple task for somebody who knows what to do.

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Hitler: A jew walked into a bar... jokes, it was a gas chamber

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What's 9+10 Ebola

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? To visit the graves of his wife and only daughter who were killed in a car accident at the fault of a drunk driver many years prior.

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Gordon Brown smiles.

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What did the white man say to the muslim? Hi

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What's better than winning a gold at the paralympic Walking

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whats black, white, and red all over? your mum

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Q. want to hear the biggest lie in the world ? A. sure A.I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service

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Why did the stereo break? Cause little Johnny threw a bat at it.

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Nothing. He made it home safely.

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If you driving a jetski and the wheeles fall off how many screws does it take to fix the dog house? BLUE PAINT

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Q: What did little Jimmy get his grandfather for Christmas? A: Nothing his grandfather died on Thanksgiving

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The camp counselor woke me up, and said that it was going to be a long week. I didn't worry though, since all weeks are 7 days long.

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Knock Knock ! Who's there? Jim. Oh come in.

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Q: what's your dog's name ? A: Dog.

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What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

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Q.Why did the black man go to college? A. What does his race have to do with anything?

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There once was a mountain climber. He loved to climb mountains. He had climbed all of the world's tallest peaks...except Mount Everest. So, one day he decides to climb Mount Everest. He takes weeks and weeks to prepare himself. He trains and trains three times a day till he thinks he is ready to climb Mount Everest. Climbing up it takes forever. It feels like it has been days in the dreary cold. Finally, he reaches the peak. It is a glorious occasion. On the way down, a huuuuge storm rolls in. He falls down a cliff and breaks both of his legs. The pain is unbearable. He screams and screams but no one hears him. Finally after what seems like days, a group of monks find him and carry him to their monastery. Chapter Two Once the man wakes up he thanks the monks for saving his life. They give him a room, food, and nice clothes. Every night in his room, he hears a banging behind his dresser. It is really loud and he is quite annoyed by it. The next morning he asked the head monk what the noise is. The head monk says " I cannot tell you, you aren't a monk." He hears the banging noise every night. HE asks the head monk every morning but he always says he cant tell him because he isn't a monk. So the climber decides to become a monk. After years and years of training to become a monk, he finally becomes one. Chapter Three So he says to the head monk, " I am a monk, so now can you tell me?" The head monk replies, " I can't tell you, but i can help show you. So he pushes the drawer back and reveals a little door, He gives the man a lantern and says to go through it. The man goes through the door into a little, dark tunnel, eager to finally find out what the noise was. He crawls for what seems like hours and hours and hours and days and days and days and days. He finally gets to the door where the banging noise is and opens the door. What he sees amazes him. Do you want to know what the banging noise was? I cant tel you, you aren't a monk!

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Knock Knock Who's there? The holocaust

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So three Jews walk into a Biker Bar. Despite the fact that is was a self-proclaimed "Biker Bar", the group of men inside were in fact rather open-minded, and had no issues with new members. They had a rich conversation, and frequented the bar thereafter.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a T-Rex? Humans are vertebrates belonging to the Mammalia class, chiefly a member of the species Homo sapiens; dinosaurs are chiefly terrestrial, herbivorous or carnivorous reptiles from the extinct orders Saurischia and Ornithischia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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