tomatoe tomato my toe is named tom

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Why was Little Billy sad? Because he got shot.

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Knock! Knock! "It's open!"

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whats blue and looks like a bucket? a red bucket disguised as a blue bucket

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Why did Zayne have no friends? Because he is retarded.

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Rose: Mummy, why did you name me Rose? Mother: Because a rose fell on your head when you were a baby Daisy: Mummy, why did you name me Daisy? Mother: Because a daisy fell on you when you were a baby Fridge: durr hurr Mother: Shut up, Fridge

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Whats worse than getting raped by jack the ripper? Getting fingered by captain hook.

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Why did the Nazi Doctor drown a Jew in the lake? To see how long it would take a Jew to drown with its big nose. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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What happens when u poke a ghost that is standing on the edge of a building? Ghost aren't real so therefor u will fall of the edge and die

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"Hey want to hear the best knock-knock joke ever." "Sure." "Ok you start." "Knock-knock." "Whos there?" "..........."

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Sticks and stones may break my bones because I have osteoporosis

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So, a man walks into a doctor's office. He says, "Doctor, it hurts when I bent my arm like this." The doctor tells the man that it is simply a sprained muscle after thorough examination.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: No one knows, he was a chicken, and was not capable of human speech, so he never told anyone.

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what would george washington do if he was alive today? he would scream and scratch his coffiin

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Whats smells like a banana and is purple? A banana, I lied about the purple thing.

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women and girls can really get enjoyment out of sex. it's not really about controlling the man.

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Two mice fell into a bucket of cream. They both promptly drowned.

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Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

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If a blonde and a brunette fell off a cliff who would reach the ground first? The blonde because she was fatter.

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What happenes if you put an elephant in the fridge? Nothing, it wouldnt fit.

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Knock, Knock. Lol jk, we all know knock knock jokes fricken suck.

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Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy wishes the same.

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Why can't helen keller drive? She never got her permit

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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