Donald trump walks into the whitehouse. He's there for a business meeting with the new president.

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How do you make a blonde woman act in a porno? You get her consent and pay her money.

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How can you tell if someone is a virgin? Everyone is a virgin in something. For example, if you never had sex with a dinosaur, then you are a virgin at dinosaur sex.

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What is blue and feels like fluff? Blue fluff

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What she says: “You’re really sweet, but I have a boyfriend.” What she means: “You’re really sweet, but I definitely don’t want to date you.”

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Ever hear the joke about the blind guy taking care of the baby ? ... Good, because it's not funny to make fun of blind people and I doubt a blind guy would ever be legally taking care of a baby.

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What did the statue say to the other statue? stat-you?

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What does an elephant and a plum have in common? They are both purple... except for the elephant

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Tulips are brown, I need to stop working on my flower garden after fisting a cows butthole.

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what's worse than the holocaust living jews

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What do you get when John pulls your toe off the waterfall and takes three from an caramel? -6 to the power of golf.

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Thank you for flying Buzzy Fly Airlines. Today we'll be flying around Uranus.

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Why did Little Suzy get hit by a truck? Well the real question is, "Why was Little Suzy in the road," so why was she? Because she felt like it.

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An orphan falls off a cliff.

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Why was Osama Bin Laden so hard to find? His hiding place was difficult to come across.

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You!!!!!! Cause your whole existence is just one big joke.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Murder his family.

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Why did the black guy buy a bucket of KFC? Because he was hungry

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Nero? As In Nero7? Septimus? Where you not killed during the raid? I read you got tortured and killed by your own out of mercy.

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Q: whats worse than finding out you failed an exam? A: finding out you where Hitler in a past life

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What do you call a man that eats a sandwich? Hungry.

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Why did the boy who didn't do his homework fall out off a tree? Because his overly obsessive mom threw a rock at him.

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What's the difference between a baby and an onion? I cry when I chop up an onion.

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Bob has 80 chocolate bars, he gives 5 to his uncle,10 to his mother and 8 to his freind. He then eats 40 chocolate bars. Q. How many chocolate bars has bob got left now? A. Bob has no chocolate bars left. Shortly after Bob ate 40 bars he was diagnosed with diabetes. He then died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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