So an alien walks into a bar......... and everyone runs away secreaming because theres an alien in the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I once did __________ (went to Hawaii, drank a whole gallon of beer, etc. ), but then I woke up. Works with anything, and people will laugh.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was the kid dizzy? He ran in a circle repeatedly.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the giraffe say to the walrus? Nothing. Giraffes can't talk. What did the Scotsman say to the walrus? Nothing. Scotsmen can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

- Women have rights, aren't they? - Yes, they have.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

a black man is chasing a white man,, "sir you dropped your wallet'!!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? I was asking you...

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what’s worse than 12 dead babies in one trash can? one dead baby in 12 trash cans

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? Your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Your mom is so stupoid she put a piece of paper on the TV and called it paper view!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a white basketball player? A very athletic hardworking dedicated human being.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

whats funnier than 24?????????????????????????????????????????? 25

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because his face was stapled to the wall.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why did the chinese man die because someone shot him

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did one friend say on his friend's myspace page? You need a Facebook

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Three gay men are in a bath tub and bubbles come up and one says "who farted?"

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Yo mama so fat! Really she should get on an exercise program and watch her diet, as she is at higher risk for diabetes and other health issues

thumb_up thumb_down +9

That awkward moment when Amish mingle has a member

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the difference between an ostridge? It can neither fly.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What happens when you throw a blue rock into red water? It gets wet...

thumb_up thumb_down +9

nothing drews nose is f**ing hilarious

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what's the difference between a bearded man and bearded lady the bearded man has a penis

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops