Not lying Red, I have my contacts, I am a "facilitator", I pull strings for my employers, and sure the FBI has me on their files, after all we have cooperated with them. Not because I wanted to, but because its my job, and it helps me use the best of my abilities and limited education (I am technically an educated lawyer, and not an agent).

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You: "Ask me if im an astronaut. " Them: "R u an astronaut?" You: "No. "

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What's better then finding an apple in the Holocaust? Finding a tunnel under the fence.

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Why did Sam have no friends? He was dead.

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So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. he crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

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Why was the boy sad? Because He had a frog stapled to his face

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how does cody get laid? he doesnt.

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What did the day say to his son when he came out of the closet? Its alright

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In soviet russia, child molests you! Unfortunately true

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Asian women drivers...

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So, theoretically, if we controlled the media, what would be different then?

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why did the boy eat his lunch money? it was his lunch!

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Hey do you know who is in the yard? Not the boys, they all died in a horrific fire last Christmas.

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How much is that doggie in the window? $4.95 + Shipping&Handling

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what's the difference between rice and an asian? one is a food.

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What do you call a woman in a kitchen ? There rightful place.

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Q: Why does a hamburger doesn't taste like an ice cream? A: Because.

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What does a white man say when you slug him in the face with a club. Ow.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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a group of teenagers are laughing at a boy around their age when on says "youre stupid" the boy then replies "i prefer the term Autistic"

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how do you get a clown off a swing? hit him with an axe

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An american, a french and a japanese walk into a bar. They are colleagues from the International University of Florida, used to go out together.

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Want a fight? You Spelt F**K wrong O.o

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops