How do you blind an Asian man You stab him six times in each eye socket and drop cyan pepper in his eye wound.

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Dollar ice tea... I drink that Supa hot fire... i spit that Two and a half men................... I watch that

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

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Why did the kitten cross the road? Because its owners abandoned it.

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Knock Knock .... Knock Knock .... Pum Pum Pum .... LAPD! open the door!

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Why did Chuck Norris start crying? Because he was in a coma

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Are you thinking Arby's? No. My grandmother died of tuberculosis and it's troubling me.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm an expert on flowers.

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I remember my days you know in the army, agfanifuckingstan, got dirty water, then spent a week shitting... Anyway, I was holding a grenade right? And then two of them came around and I was like "here come good boy! GOOOD BOY! Catch the ball!" And then I pulled the pin and threw it. Aww shut up, you are all like "YOU SOLDIER KILL PUPPIES!" NO THOSE WHERE KIDS! And they would have been like 15 today and been killing your men today! YOU ARE SO FUCKING WELCOME!

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Chose to describe yourself: Green thumb: Tall wealthy, good looking, intelligent man with a model wife, a ferrari expensivo, a hotel just for yourself. Red thumb: A below average piece of shit? Green thumb? Dont lie to me you piece of sh*t!

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Knock Knock Who's there? A Crazy Rhinoceros

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Joe goes to the bathroom with someone in the next stall named Bill Bill: "Hi" Joe: "Hi" Bill: "How you doing" Joe: "Good" Bill: "You traveling" Joe: "Yes to Alabama" Bill: "Yeah, I got to go a guy in the next stall answering all my questions bye"

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What's the difference between Josef fritsal and a fridge? A fridge can be thrown at a bowl of custard.

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XD Thats what I was expecting from you, you do not go down without a bit of struggle and a tussle huh?

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Why couldnt Helen Keller drive? Because She was Blind you sexist asshole

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Knock knock! Who's there? Hitler, time to shower!

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God Does exist to all thoes atheist out there!!! All you have to have is faith. I corinthians 1:18 "for the message of the cross is foolishness to thoes who are perishing, but for thoes who are saved it is the power in christ Jesus!! <3

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how do u make an infant cry? hit it in the face with a full grown salmon.

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whats black and hangs from my tree a plum

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whats awesome? a blade of grass with a mexican hat and a revolver.

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XD, You must really like me Nero, do you think people have problems telling us apart here?

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What did the aborted fetus say to the recycling bin? Nothing because it isn't capable of speaking, and it was in the dumpster

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What do anti-jokes and a can of corn have in common? Both can be stored indefinitely and accessed and enjoyed at will.

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A bunch of kids are in a treehouse. The treehouse falls out of the tree and kills everyone in the treehouse and the two little girls playing underneath. It was sad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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