What did Hitler get his son for Christmas? An Ez-bake oven and a GI Jew

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Did you ever notice that if you blow in a dogs face it goes mad, yet when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head straight out the window?

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What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Hey bill

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what do you call a baby with no arms and no legs in a mailbox? a horriffic murder

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What is worse than the holocaust? A worm in your apple.

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You can teach a man to fish but you cant teach a fish to man

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-What's long, hard and full of semen? -Since this is a play on words both an erect penis and a naval submarine could apply here

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You are so ugly that for Halloween you had to trick or treat by phone.

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What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, his mouth was full of it's intestines.

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A black man a mexican and a caucasian were walking together. The black man and the mexican walked into a bar. The caucasian ducked. Not because his race makes him smarter in anyway, but because his friends shouted out a warning to him. All three then proceeded to the nearest pub.

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What's worse than getting struck by lightning? Getting struck while your in your house!!

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Fun Fact: If humans stood in a single file line around the equator, most of them would drown.

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A russian, a mexican, and an american are all sitting in a tavern. The russian ordered vodka, the mexican orders tequila, and the american orders a beer. When the waiter arrives, the russian throws his vodka into the air, shoots it, and says "we got too many of those in our country". The mexican tosses up his tequila and says "we got too many of those in our country". The american throws up his beer, shoots the mexican, and says "we got too many of those in our country". And then drinks his beer.

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What's the difference between a 7 year old boy and a 50 year old man? Hair.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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hold the planet Dumb ass well I'm doing something else right now dumb ass

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“Before I know it, he’s got both of my hands in his viselike grip above my head, and he’s pinning me to the wall using his lips … His other hand grabs my hair and yanks down, bringing my face up, and his lips are on mine … My tongue tentatively strokes his and joins his in a slow, erotic dance … His erection is against my belly.”

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What did Batman say to Superman before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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Where does Elmo live? In Sesame Street.

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Why did the boy die? He got hit by the school bus.

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What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

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what happened to the fat lady she went on a diet and is now skinny but she cant resist mcdonalds big macs so she quickly become fat

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Why was the little boy sad Because he has depression from his father beating him over and over every time he comes home from school...

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Q. Why did the woman cross the road? A. Who cares, what was she doing out of the kitchen

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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