Why did the chicken cross the road? Because death was certain if it didn't.

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A dyslexic man gets asked what 1+1 is, he replies with a wopping 11. Grats <3

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Johns mother asked him were he had been. John simply replied the shop.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? I don't hammer the watermon

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Cuz she had no arms! B I T C H

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Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? They do. In fact, seagulls can be found near almost any body of water.

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What did the white person say to the black person? Nothing because he was black

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I wanted to impress this girl by showing her that I was good in math. So I went up to her, and told that I knew that the value of pi is 3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592307816406286 208998628034825342117067982148086513282306647093844609550582231725359408128481 117450284102701938521105559644622948954930381964428810975665933446128475648233 786783165271201909145648566923460348610454326648213393607260249141273724587006 606315588174881520920962829254091715364367892590360011330530548820466521384146 951941511609433057270365759591953092186117381932611793105118548074462379962749 567351885752724891227938183011949129833673362440656643086021394946395224737190 702179860943702770539217176293176752384674818467669405132000568127145263560827 785771342757789609173637178721468440901224953430146549585371050792279689258923 542019956112129021960864034418159813629774771309960518707211349999998372978049 951059731732816096318595024459455346908302642522308253344685035261931188171010 003137838752886587533208381420617177669147303598253490428755468731159562863882 353787593751957781857780532171226806613001927876611195909216420198938095257201 065485863278865936153381827968230301952035301852968995773622599413891249721775 283479131515574857242454150695950829533116861727855889075098381754637464939319 255060400927701671139009848824012858361603563707660104710181942955596198946767 837449448255379774726847104047534646208046684259069491293313677028989152104752 162056966024058038150193511253382430035587640247496473263914199272604269922796 782354781636009341721641219924586315030286182974555706749838505494588586926995 690927210797509302955321165344987202755960236480665499119881834797753566369807. She had a psychotic episode.

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What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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What happens when a girl sticks her head in a birthday cake? She gets a toothpick stuck in her eyebrow. Trust me..I know.

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Why did the Smartie get fired from the M&M factory? For throwing out all the W&Ws

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What happened when the black man and the white woman mated? Nothing. The man was infertile.

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Why was the women not in the kitchen? She was dead

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Ich bin nicht der Anführer

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guess what im a bitch i have no balls and i can slap your mum in the face

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What goes up and down, up and down, up and down, forever? An insult to Newtonian physics.

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what kind of dog has no tail? a hot dog

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Why did sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by an 18 wheeler Knock knock Whos there not sally

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A man walks into a bar wearing large and baggy pants. The bartender asks him, "Why the large, baggy pants?" The man replies, "Because they're comfortable."

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? Well it depends how many of them can figure out the staircase.

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What did the worm a fisherman used to catch fish called when the worm killed a trout? Master Bate.

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What is green and fuzzy and can kill you when it falls out of a tree A pooltable

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because six is a numerophobe.

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What does bigfoot have? Big feet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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