Why do thieves shower before undertaking a robbery? Probably part of their morning routine.

CIA? You? Are you a CIA agent? Wow!

Why do cows have bad hand writing? because they don't have thumbs

A bear goes to target, soon after animal control came and put it in a nearby zoo

What did the blind quadriplegic get for Christmas? Cancer.

Why is the black guy afraid of the white guy? He's not, it's the other way around.

Wanna hear a dirty joke? The pig rolled in the mud!

Rose are Red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The middle one is for you.

What did the smurf say to the other smurf? Smurf

What did Batman say to Superman? Nothing, he killed him with a kryptonite spear.

Sir, your wife is dead

What do you get if you cross a goat with a horse? Long letters of complaints by animal rights groups

Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

Person 1: what is 2 + 2? Person 2: 4 Person 1: no Person 2: what is it than? Person 1: vagina

Q: What's the difference between Rush Limbaugh and the Hindenburg? A: One is a huge, flaming, Nazi gasbag, and the other is a drug-addicted talkshow host.

If a train leaves Chicago at 50 miles per hour, how hard does the baby strapped to the tracks get splattered?

Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

What looks like a smiley face no serously what I want to know

A black guy, a jew, and an asian walk into a bar, have a beer each, and then leave, because they have high-paying jobs and don't want to risk getting DUIs.

Roses are red Violets are blue My walls are yellow

A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, its because your wearing a suit and on the front door it says no people in suits are allowed." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? we will never know he never opened it

What did Little Johny get for Christmas?

David Copperfield (the magician you moron). "I will now perform my greatest act yet!" Everyone applauded as he put the screaming woman (for effects you know) into the first end of the meatgrinder, and surprisingly grinded meat came out the other side! And the woman? She disappeared... forever! *applause* Moral: BRAVO! BRAVO!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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