Your so gay, that you like men!

Why is the redneck crying? They died of diabeetus.

Why didn't the guy have kids? He didn't want them

What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Why was the cookie sad? It had just been eaten and is currently disintegrating in the hydrochloric acid of someones stomach.

What is worse than getting hit by a bus? 9/11

Whats black, blue, and red all over? A man who has just been severally beaten.

Q:Why was the blond so dumb A: She had downsidrome

Q: What would have been the easiest way to stop the second world war without killing anyone? A: Paid Hitler for his art.

Když si to Nikolas ,dejme tomu že Bihary, you know nuseng.. hahahahaha

Knock Knock! Who's there? I don't remember the rest of the joke but your mom's a whore.

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie Thum thump Who's there Bethany Hamilton

Why did the boy fail the test? He had down syndrome.

Why did the football coach go to the bank? To make a deposit

Roses are red, ill give you a wink, two in the pink, and one in the stink.

whats a great gift to share with small children? Ebola

how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 16 if the ice cream melts

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because that's where the oncologist's office is.

It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

What does the ice cream man say to the kids? Hey kids want some ice cream?

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because I hit her with an axe.

What did the facial stylist charge Jack Sparrow to get his ears pierced? A buc-an-ear!

Why couldn't the boy hide his penis? Circumcision.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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