What's worse than finding a worm on your apple? Trench foot on your eyebrow.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

so a black guy, an asian, and a scott are sitting at a bar, they drink responsibly, pay their tab, and leave. The evening couldn't have been more pleasant.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: What is scarier than the boogie man? A: Herpes

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's a bench painted red white and blue all over? An American BENCH.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the Jew say when he walked into a bar? Ouch!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q. If you're paddling up river and you lose three tires, how many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? A. Purple because ice cream has no bones.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

roses are blue violets are red and just like you they're messed up in the head

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Doctor: I'm sorry about your disease, young man. It looks like your time is up. Man: NO! How much time to I have? Doctor: Five. Man: Five years? Five months? Five weeks? Doctor: Four... Three...

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You pour cold water on her head or make a loud noise nearby.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Brother : you see this hand Sister : yes Brother : if you dont leave ill slap you with it Sister : no you wont !SLAP!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Two blondes walks into a tavern, which is kind of funny, since the second one should have seen it.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock knock Who's there? Your mom Oh hi mom

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was the clown in red shoes wearing skis? Because he likes to ski in red shoes, and he's a clown

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the man have a finger coming out of his ear? He had a birth defect.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What looks like a smiley face no serously what I want to know

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

In what way are a pile of deceased children and a Ferrari F430 similar? Neither can be found in my garage, nor anywhere under my possession. As for the Ferrari, this is an unfortunate truth. Due to Ferraris' high level of desirability, and to their low supply, the cost of one such car is much more than an average person can afford. As for the pile of deceased children, anyone in possesion (for lack of a better term, as one can not truly possess another human being, even post mortem) of such a grotesque thing is probably too sick and twisted to be submitting jokes with no apparent climax in hopes of stimulating the minds of the joke's readers sense of humor.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

So a dolphin is dropped off at a park and dies because he was out of the water to long.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the duck cross the road? Hurricane Katrina

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A chicken walks into McDonalds. He never comes out because he got grilled, greased, and seasoned.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the two blonds go to the bar together? Because they were carpooling to save money and help save the earths ozone layer that seals in all of our oxygen. They were also meeting some friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

whats black and white and covered in blood Michael Jackson being stabbed

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's black, white & red all over? A cow in a slaughter house.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

The young orphan boy had high hopes for this Christmas. When he woke up, he ran to the foot of the tree and saw a large box wrapped with seasonal wrapping paper. He looked at it to see that it was for someone else. The boy recieved nothing for Christmas and was later hit by a bus that had veered off of the road to avoid hitting a dog. The boy is now paralyzed and is extremely disappointed as to how his Christmas had unfolded.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops