Saggy Nipples By chan chan

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How did Matt stop the robbers? He called the police.

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In Soviet Russia, man doesn't walk to the bar. The bar walks to the man!

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Q: What's the difference between a bird and a fly? A: A bird can fly, but a fly can't bird.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Why do black people have white hands? Palms and soles are not in direct sunlight, and therefore less amounts of melanin are produced in those regions.

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guess what im a bitch i have no balls and i can slap your mum in the face

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What is the difference between a clown and a dead baby? One makes you laugh and one is just a clown.

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What is worse than seeing a pile of dead minorities? Dropping a dollar.

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what do you call a dead arab? a suicide bomber

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If Chuck Norris was really so awesome he would come and slam my head into the keyboard.

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Q: When you have alot of hair, what are you? A: Obease

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Guess what I was with your mom last night so I wraped her in foil and put her in the oven.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side which would be a incontrovertible (obvious) decision.

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? My ass

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Why couldn't the girl eat her pizza? She had no face.

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How did the mexican die while fixing a lightbulb? He fell off the ladder.

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dead dibbs

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what is the difference between a car salesman and a lawyer? a car salesman sells cars to people while a lawyer is an expert in law.

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The following is neither a joke or anti-joke. It's a brainteaser. It's called the Monty Hall Problem. Suppose you're on a game show, and you're given the choice of three doors: Behind 1 door is a car; behind the other 2 doors are goats. You then choose a door. The host then opens another door and reveals a goat. He then says to you, "Do you want to stick with your choice or switch?" Is it to your advantage to switch your choice? The correct answer yes, switching gives you a better odds of winning. Why? There is a simple way to understand it without the mathematical demonstration. Suppose we have the three doors 1, 2 3 and the number 2 is the winner. If you choose not to change , of course the chances to win is 1/3. Now. what happens if you decide to change? The answer is that if you initially chose an incorrect door, you will always win. In the example, if you initially chose the door 1, the presenter will open door 3(because the door 2 is the winner so he can't open that door) So if you change you will win. The same happens if you initially chose door 3(the presenter will open door 1 and if you change you will win). You will only loose if you initially chose door 2(the presenter will open door 1 or 3, and when changing you will loose) So the conclusion is that if you always decide to change, if initially you have chosen ANY(and any in capital letters!) of the TWO incorrect doors you will win. So the chances when changing is 2/3.

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what smells like diarrhea and looks like diarrhea? diarrhea stupid

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What do you get when you cross batman and superman? One egotesticul idiot SOB aka mofo ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by jimmy savile.

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Whats brown and smells bad poo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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