Why couldn't Bruce drive a truck? Cause Bruce was a Fish.

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WARNING!: THIS JOKE MAY BE OFFENSIVE::: three mexicans wanted to cross the united states borders when they were greeted by a border guard with a gun. the guard tells the three mexicans that if they wanted to pass the border, they will have to do as he says, to which the 3 of them agrees. the guard tells them to go gather a pair of fruits, so like that each of them went their own way to go get some fruits. the first mexican came back with a pair of apples. The guard orders him to stick both of them up his ass and if he makes a sound, the guard will kill him. The mexican obeys and sticks the apple halfway when he screamed. the guard killed him. The second mexican came back with a pair of cherries. The guard ordered the same thing and told him the same thing. the second mexican made 1 cherry and a half when he giggled. So he died also. when he got to heaven, he meets the first mexican. to which the 1st mexican asks, "why did you laugh? that was so easy!" and the 2nd mexican responded, "i giggled because i saw the third mexican coming with a pair of water melons."

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Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

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rocky is staring at us from outside...

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar and the bar says "ouch!"

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A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

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What can bankrupt people buy? Free stuff.

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Little Justin's bike has a flat tire has a flat tire. He asks his dad to inflate it. "Sure Justin I can fix that for you." Said his father. But he overinflates the tire, causing the tire to explode and ignite the chemicals. The house burns to the ground, killing Justin and his parents. The fire then spreads and the hole city burns. 50,000 people die.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it is an animal without a high enough level of intelligence to see the dangers in doing so.

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Why did Jim not go to the park and play football with his Dad today? His dad got hit by a bus and lost his legs

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

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Why couldn't the little seven year old girl paint her finger nails? She fell in front of a train.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was no traffic for miles and the chicken was in search of basic needs.

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A: How can you tell a tree is an aspen? B: 'Cause of the way it is.

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Q: How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Let's go ride bikes!

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

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A guy walks into a bar, and says, "The Aristocrats!"

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I literally died laughing

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Two guys walk into a bar. The Third ones a duck

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A hurt animal that should promtly be taken to the RSPCA for surgery.

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Q: Why don't people like me? A: Because I smell bad and I give off a creepy vibe

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could walk into the mall and kill hundreds of innocent lives and leave thousands wounded.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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