Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead."

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Three Jews walked into a bar. I lied... it was a gas chamber.

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what is the difference between an octopus and a dead dolphin? one as tentacles the other is dead.

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? To get into the USA for a better lifestyle.

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Hickory Dickory Dock. 2 mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one.. and the second one got away with major injuries, dying in a hospital three days later. The clock is now serving its 8th year in jail out of 25 years, and does not regret anything.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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Tall asians

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What happened to the boy after his life saving surgery? He died of an unrelated disease.

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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What do you call white trash Garbage

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Your mom is so stupid she has trouble holding a steady job and struggles to support her family.

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What's white and can't climb trees? Yogurt

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Yo mama so fat - - That your dad left her, and it's tearing your family apart

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what does a deer and grass have in common? they are both green but i lied about the deer

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punchline below punchline above

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Your boat breaks down on the highway. How many squirrels does it take to eat a bannana? Squirrels do not eat bannanas but it would probably take a monkey 1.5 milliseconds.

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What do you call a horse that likes to box? A horse

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What's black and white and nailed to the floor? A skunk that's nailed to the floor.

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OIO

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea. A: Tsunami victims.

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What shouldn't you say to a dementia patient? You already said that.

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What's bad about four black men in a car going over a cliff? It was my car.

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Nerochan, it was really nice chatting with you, I hope we can chat some other time... Please tell me why you are upset with me, just pick up the phone, I mean let me know what I did you wrong.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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