How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch n sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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why didn't the chicken cross the road... because it got hit by a truck

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what's an advantage of breaking every bone in your body? nothing, you're screwed.

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Whats worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your asshole.

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What do you call your mom? Mom

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Patient: I thonk I'm gonna die Doctor: well will ya hurry up and die already? I've got to treat a kid with a paper cut.

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Q: What do you call a black guy with his degree in dentistry? A: Doctor

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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What is yellow outside, black inside, and makes you laugh when it falls? A school bus full of black people falling from a clif

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What did one homo-sexual say to his four homo-sexual friends? Were One Direction!!

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I took my blind grandmother to the art gallary

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What did the murderer do to the dentist? Nothing, the murderer has served his time and is clean. But he did get his teeth cleaned.

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Whats worse than being a black guy? NOTHING.

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What's big, hard, in the water, and isolated? Shutter Island

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How many fingers am i holding up? none, my hand got blown off in Vietnam

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken can only be speculated.

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? How would she know? shes blind, deaf and mute; and incapable of knowing what she received.

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Q.) How do you make a whore blush? A.) Tell her she has pretty eyes.

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Why was everyone afraid of Nick Morton? Because he had AIDS

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Why did the black man steal the mountain bike? He didn't. He purchased and payed for the mountain bike.

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Two birds were sitting on a perch, one turned and said to the other, "Do you smell fish?"

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Mahjdichdhsjxidjhsbxu shcowiqx own hdqu Hedgehog the third

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Okay, seriously I'm done. I try to make a joke but I don't think I can do it anymore. I'm not funny I'm just a little coward who offers nothing to life. I should just kill myself. Fuck this joke, fuck you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops